When my kids were small, and I was still buckling 2 kids into their seats, I would purposefully buckle the one on the passenger side last. It was like a mini-vacation to walk from the passenger side of the car, around to the drivers seat. I would walk slow, and relish the quiet that this brief activity provided. How sick is that, that I would look forward to the 60 seconds I was out of the car and the kids were in the car? But even more sick, is now that all the kids can buckle themselves, I miss it.
My mini vacations are over. We all know, I can not poop or pee by myself. I can not shower by myself. I am not allowed to get dressed alone. Nor, am I to be trusted to walk to the mailbox without an under-aged chaperon. As I go through out my day, sure there are periods of time when no one is bugging me, but the reality is that there are no more mini vacations. When the kids were buckled into the car seats, they were safe and sound, so I could mentally disconnect from them for a minute. I couldn't hear them whine and fight, so I had some time to recenter myself.
I am happy that time has passed and my kids are getting older and all that jazz. But, I still find it hard to take a breathe and find my center so that I can continue to be the one that keeps everything moving forward. Because, everyone depends on me... that is a lot of pressure, and sometimes I need a mini-vacation.