Sunday, January 23, 2011


Beware of the naked man who offers you his shirt.  He is just trying to avoid doing the laundry.  While I realize that unless you are standing naked with the beds stripped and eschew use of any sort of towel, laundry is by it's very nature a never ending project.

That said, I am left to wonder why, after doing 7 loads of it today, I am still not done.  Oh, you may think that it is because I haven't done it for awhile, but the reality of the picture is that I do it almost every day.  If I miss just one day, I suddenly have 7 loads.  How does that happen?   Does the laundry pile magically replicate itself when I am not looking?

I swear that the pile was almost at the bottom when I loaded the 5th load into the washer.  Not really enough to do a full load.  But, when I returned to the laundry room to pull the dry clothes out and put the wet clothes in the dryer, the pile was taller than me.  If only my money grew at such an alarming rate.  I would not need to do my own laundry I could hire someone.

Laundry always leaves me with many unanswered questions, such as:
  • Why do the laundring instructions on the 100% polyester soccer uniform say Do Not Tumble Dry.  It is polyester, not wool people, why can't I dry it?  Why does it have to hang in my laundry room next to the woolies?  I pondered this question out loud recently.  The response was, "how much did you pay for that uniform?"  "A lot of money," I answered.  "Then don't question that tag," my friend advised.  I agree!  I will line dry that bad boy, at least until he needs a new uniform. 
  • Why is it that the child that hates underwear changes it, at least twice a day?  Maybe I don't want to know the answer to that.
  • Why is it that the child that refuses to wear pjs more than one time will wear the same pair of underwear for a week?
  • Why is it that I am the only person in the house that believes that unless it is visably dirty or smells it does not need to be washed?
Needless to say, I am not naked and the sheets aren't off the beds and we haven't given up towels.  The laundry isn't going to be done ever.  I guess I have 7 more loads for tomorrow.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Two years

Two years ago, and it is hard to believe it was really that long ago, my husband shared with me some very dark thoughts.  He was saddled with a great deal of guilt about how things were going.  His job sucked, our house sucked, and all everyone wanted to do was to go home.  While I won't go into details about exactly what he told me in such a public space, just know it was bad.

His boss told him every day that he was worthless and not valued.  That he was too stupid to live.  Well, probably nothing quite that direct, but that certainly was the message he took home.

Fast forward today, he is happy and things are going great.  His new boss told him that he is one of the top 5 people that they would keep should they ever restart the company.  So, if they sold the company he currently works for and then started a new one, they would want my DH at their side.

What a difference a few years makes.  Part of me wants to send the asshats at Pro-Source of Chicago a note and tell them, contrary to their belief, my husband is NOT too stupid to live, nor is he a waste of space.  That perhaps your charming style of management by fear and loathing is the issue, not the people.  I guess someday I will forgive them for breaking my husband, but I am not there yet.

Monday, January 17, 2011

11 is the new 16

My latest fears have been confirmed.  11 is the new 16, and 16 is the new 21.  Kids are just growing up so fast.  With technology they are exposed to so much more than we were when we were kids.

When are kids going to just stop trying to do everything before they turn 18.  Life is long, and there is time to do everything.  Unless you are unfortunate and die young, but really, you won't know you missed out on anything anyway, because you will be dead.

I go to birthday parties that are like weddings.  What are these kids going to do when they have weddings?  How are they going to top the extravaganza that was their 10th birthday?  Their sweet 16?  It makes me wonder, why do the parents do these things?  I understand that parents want the best for their kids.  Yet, is setting unrealistically high expecations about what life is like really the best thing?

I see 5th graders with cell phones.  They mostly have better cell phones than I do.  If I don't need a smart phone, why in the world does a 10/11 year old?  Who are they calling?  I hear the arguments from the parents, oh it is so nice to be able to call Julie and check up on her.  Let me deliver some breaking news.  Cell phones work any where, so if Julie tells you she is at Stephanie's house, she may really, actually be at Tom's house half naked.  I generally find calling Stephanie's mom or dad to see what the kids are up to be a better way to actually ascertain where my kid is.  If the parents aren't open to that, or aren't going to be there, then, really, is that the best place for my 5th grader to be?  We won't let the kids ride their bikes to CVS, but we will let them wander around with cell phones and this makes us think they are safe.

Another thing, there are 4th and 5th grade boys talking about banging chicks.  There are 4th and 5th grade girls walking around with their nails done, their hair highlighted and dressed provactively.  These are little kids people.  Let them be little kids.  There will be plenty of time for them to get their hair highlighted and their nails done when they are in their 20's.   There is time for these boys to bang these chicks, when they are in their 20's.  Why are we, as the parents letting them think that this is alright to do now?  (I don't think anyone is actually banging anyone, but the meer fact that they talk about it is distrubing.)

It is so oxymoronic that we dress our small kids up like little adults, but we hoover and try and make every decision for them.  It seems that the helicopter parents are the same ones that want their kids to be little adults.  Isn't that sort of a mixed message?  You can look and act like an adult, but I don't trust you to make any decisions for yourself.

Remember parents, you are the parent, and this is not a popularity contest.  Perhpas it is time we stop worring about what the other parents are doing and what our kid wants us to do an enforce some rules.  Let them make some controlled decisions and be in charge for a change.  If we want our kids to be productive adults, we have to stop playing dress up and let them fall a bit.  The do not need to do that with manicured nails and a cell phone.

Saturday, January 15, 2011


I spend a lot of time in the car.  Driving from one activity to the next.  I spend a good deal of that time on my phone, trying to keep up with the phone calls.  But somedays, I just talk to the kids or sing with the radio.

On this particular morning, I was in a radio mood.  As I am listening an ad comes on.  It talks about being part of covert operations and serving ones country without anyone knowing about it.  It was a really strange ad.  At the end, they say they are looking for CIA agents. 

Last time I read the paper, the economy was in the crapper.  Dudes with PhD's were taking jobs at McDonalds so they could try and pay some of the bills.  The CIA is advertising for employees on the radio?  Is it that hard to fill the positions that it is time to resort to the radio? 

The requirements were minimal.  Ability to travel, attain a security clearance and pass a medical exam seemed to be the only qualifications that were necessary to be employed.  No mention of prior experience with fire arms, police training, knowledge of languages, nothing.  Training is provided. 

I am left with so many questions, not the least of which is when did it get so hard, especially in this craptastic economy, for the CIA to find people?  Did the CIA suddenly stop being cool?  I guess we need another Bourne movie.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Over Scheduled

It was a rough morning.  Our schedule is so precise that the Swiss Military could take a few pointers.  If one thing happens to throw us off plan, well, we are scrambling all day.  There is no fluff built into the schedule to allow of unplanned potty stops.

As you can imagine with three young kids, this is often a problem.  One kid is distracted by something shiny and suddenly we are behind all day.  Granted my kids are used to getting to where they are getting to in a fairly quick and orderly fashion.  This type of schedule isn't really new.

Every night when I tuck the kids in, I run the schedule with them so they know what to expect.  It also reinforces it in my mind.  You know what they say, two heads are better than one and sometimes they are the ones keeping me on track.

Today, well it felt like a Benny Hill skit with everyone chasing everyone around.  I swear there was a scantily clad nurse in the line at some point.

It was a usual morning.  I went to wake Mac with our normal good thing/bad thing.  My good thing was that it was Fri.... that was as far as I got, because it was the moment that it dawned on me that it was FRIDAY and that means orchestra practice.  Orchestra practice starts at 8:15 and it was 8:15.  Crap.  We are already behind.  Cue the Benny Hill music, because the running around is about to start.

Mac is half dressed, pulling his pants on as he shakes the sleep from his head and tries to wake up.  Sam is grabbing the music stuff, I am putting together the backpack.  Where is your book for PACE?  Is everything in the Satchel??  Hannah was smart enough to just stay out of the way.  As we haul booty out of the house, a fly to school, Mac is still putting on his shoes and his coat.

We made it, only 5 minutes late, (beat that Swiss Military) but sadly, this will make us late all day.  Spelling words still need to be reviewed, Hannah still isn't dressed and snacks aren't in backpacks.  Where is the permission slip??  Doesn't anyone remember homework isn't done until it is in your backpack.  All morning we scramble against a clock that is definately NOT on the team.

As I help Hannah get dressed I am thinking a few steps forward.  I am going to the gym, I will need to drop her at the childcare and so she needs to wear socks and pants.  It was when we finally get in the car to go take Sam to school that Hannah announces that her plan is also to attend school today.  Oh, yeah, that is right, she does have school.  Back we go for the backpack.

Finally, as we are all in the van, seat belts buckled, everyone takes a deep breathe. "Mom," says Sam, "don't forget Hannah has gymnasitcs today, and I have a game tonight.  Mac has computer tomorrow.  You need to make sure that you have everything we need for those things today.  Don't forget.  Also, please make sure you know where you are going."

I am glad someone is on top of the schedule today.  Perhaps next week we will have some fluff.

Saturday, January 8, 2011


This week overwhelmed me.  I learned that I am still a stranger in a forgein land.  We had our first indoor practice.  It was in a land far, far away.  I think I had to drive through six different towns to get there.  I certainly didn't speak the language, nor did I have a passport, map and all my shots.

I didn't get too lost, but google did lie.  It was not where google said it was.  Now, I hear the sighs of well you could have checked the facility website.  I did, and they used googlemaps to give you directions.  I followed their directions.  Only to be hopelessly lost. 

Foresight caused me to put the phone number of the facility into my address book.  Like this ever happens.  Had I not been able to get directions, I was going to go and ask at the 7-11.  This is relevant, but more on that later.

I did get someone to answer the phone.  I thought, whoo hoo, problem solved.  The issue is that in spite of living in California for most of my formative years my Spanish sucks.  I have no clue how to say "I am at the corner of Barrington and Hassel and I have no idea where you are", in Spanish.  That would have been useful to have learned in Spanish class, but they were all hung up on teaching me how to conjugate verbs and grammar.  Like that was useful.  I can give the 5 forms of estar, but can I ask how to get to where I need to be? Nope.

So, I was transferred to someone who could help me.  I got her voicemail.  I call back.  If this doesn't work, I am going to the 7-11 and see if I get any better directions there.  At least in person we can gesture and draw maps.  I did get someone who could help, she was surprisingly helpful actually.

She says to me, "Oh, yeah, the directions on googlemaps are wrong."

Big surprise.  I offer that the directions on googlemaps also happen to be the directions on their website.  She informs me that they are aware of that, but don't have anyone to update it at the moment.  You know the economy is bad, blah, blah, blah.  I thought, good business practices usually dictate that it is a good idea to be able to have people find you, but no matter.

She then gives me directions, and concludes with, "really we are just right behind the 7-11.  So, if you turn into the parking lot at the 7-11 you will see us.  Just drive through their lot and come on in."

Guess I would have found it.  I will never know if I would have walked into the 7-11 and asked them for directions for the place that is right behind them.  It is possible, but we will never know.

The games are played near the Circut Court, I have been there before...we won't get lost going to the game.

Monday, January 3, 2011


This year we are going to participate in the Cooking Light 12 healthy steps.  This month is to eat more veggies.  My plan had already been to eat more veggies, it is something we had been trying to do last year.

We did have some successes with it last year, we even purchased a farmshare.  This certainly inspired us to try new things.  It wasn't really what we expected, but we are now lovers of roasted beets.  Something I never would have tried prior to our farmshare!

So, for dinner tonight we will have veggie soup and bread.  It is full of fresh yummy stuff, like bok choy, butternut squash, zucchini and peppers.  Our bread is homemade. 

After 2 weeks of mexican food and In-and-Out burgers, it is nice to have some food that isn't processed!

Stay tuned as we work out way through the 12 Healthy Steps.