When my kids were small, and I was still buckling 2 kids into their seats, I would purposefully buckle the one on the passenger side last. It was like a mini-vacation to walk from the passenger side of the car, around to the drivers seat. I would walk slow, and relish the quiet that this brief activity provided. How sick is that, that I would look forward to the 60 seconds I was out of the car and the kids were in the car? But even more sick, is now that all the kids can buckle themselves, I miss it.
My mini vacations are over. We all know, I can not poop or pee by myself. I can not shower by myself. I am not allowed to get dressed alone. Nor, am I to be trusted to walk to the mailbox without an under-aged chaperon. As I go through out my day, sure there are periods of time when no one is bugging me, but the reality is that there are no more mini vacations. When the kids were buckled into the car seats, they were safe and sound, so I could mentally disconnect from them for a minute. I couldn't hear them whine and fight, so I had some time to recenter myself.
I am happy that time has passed and my kids are getting older and all that jazz. But, I still find it hard to take a breathe and find my center so that I can continue to be the one that keeps everything moving forward. Because, everyone depends on me... that is a lot of pressure, and sometimes I need a mini-vacation.
Showing posts with label vacation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vacation. Show all posts
Monday, October 5, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Back to Reality
Well, my vacation from my life is over. It was so much fun! My mom took really good care of us, and we had a blast playing tourist in Cali. It seemed like everyday was better than the next. This is unusual, as I generally am a little bored when I am in California. But, we actually left with stuff to we wanted to do, being undone... waiting for us for next time!
Now that I am home, the house looks great, Bob did a wonderful job cleaning up. It is weird to see it because it does not seem like my house. It still doesn't seem like home... that said, there were flowers on my front porch. I had always planned to put some flowers there, but given our current economic crisis, I haven't wanted to spend the money. Well, as some RAK, someone left flowers on my front porch. Amazingly cool, and nice. I will have to play detective in the neighborhood to see who did it... or perhaps one of my other friends. It was a very nice pick me up.
I still feel sort of overwhelmed and scared about the future. I wish that we knew what was going to be...
Now that I am home, the house looks great, Bob did a wonderful job cleaning up. It is weird to see it because it does not seem like my house. It still doesn't seem like home... that said, there were flowers on my front porch. I had always planned to put some flowers there, but given our current economic crisis, I haven't wanted to spend the money. Well, as some RAK, someone left flowers on my front porch. Amazingly cool, and nice. I will have to play detective in the neighborhood to see who did it... or perhaps one of my other friends. It was a very nice pick me up.
I still feel sort of overwhelmed and scared about the future. I wish that we knew what was going to be...
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Butterflys
Yesterday we went to see the butterflies at the SB Museum of Natural History. It is a really cool exhibit, and this year it was free!! Last time we went, the year my sister died, it was $2 a person. I was so happy that we got to do this fun thing for free!!
But, it also reminded me of the last time we went, 2 years ago. It was in August, and the hills far behind my mothers house were on fire. Bob was employed and all seemed relatively ok with the world. We were all worried about the fire, which based on the last 3 fires they have had here in SB, was craziness!! My Mom and I left Bob and the kids in charge of the SB house and went to Seattle to my sister's memorial service. Bob had his evacuation plan, a list of radio stations to listen to so he could track the fire's progress. The announcer always ended with, be safe, be prepared and have a plan. I have always thought that was fine advice, so Bob was prepeared. Looking back it was laughable, as the likelihood of that fire impacting the greater community was so remote. But, hey it was his first fire, I wanted to make sure my peeps were ok!
Ending the flash back... the kids, now so much bigger, enjoyed the butterflies, Hannah and Sam were so cute giving each other hugs and trying to catch butterflies for each other! It was a nice trip. We all recalled the Zaca Fire and Katie's funeral.
But, it also reminded me of the last time we went, 2 years ago. It was in August, and the hills far behind my mothers house were on fire. Bob was employed and all seemed relatively ok with the world. We were all worried about the fire, which based on the last 3 fires they have had here in SB, was craziness!! My Mom and I left Bob and the kids in charge of the SB house and went to Seattle to my sister's memorial service. Bob had his evacuation plan, a list of radio stations to listen to so he could track the fire's progress. The announcer always ended with, be safe, be prepared and have a plan. I have always thought that was fine advice, so Bob was prepeared. Looking back it was laughable, as the likelihood of that fire impacting the greater community was so remote. But, hey it was his first fire, I wanted to make sure my peeps were ok!
Ending the flash back... the kids, now so much bigger, enjoyed the butterflies, Hannah and Sam were so cute giving each other hugs and trying to catch butterflies for each other! It was a nice trip. We all recalled the Zaca Fire and Katie's funeral.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
California Dreamin'
It seems like a winters day here in not-so-sunny California... but that is ok! The kids and I have been chillin' with Grandma. She has been taking really good care of all of us. I think I might gain 15 pounds. That isn't such a good thing.
The thing I love about coming to my Mom's is wine time. It is absolutely my favorite time of the day. This happens during the space of time between the kids eating dinner and taking baths and going to bed. For some reason I can not recreate the vibe at my own house. But essentially, the kids play in the backyard (we have one of these at home) and my Mom and I chill. Sometimes my Aunt and her puppy swing by, but lately it has just been us. Mom usually has a glass of wine, I have been working on my May/June sock. The kids play together well... it is so awesome.
I don't know why we can't do this at home.. part of the problem is that the weather does not really allow for it but 3 months a year. Probably the other part is that after dinner we try and clean up the massive mess the kids have made during the day. Maybe we need to move cleaning up to before dinner and have that time after dinner to all chill together. I don't know, but for now I am enjoying wine time here in Cali.
The thing I love about coming to my Mom's is wine time. It is absolutely my favorite time of the day. This happens during the space of time between the kids eating dinner and taking baths and going to bed. For some reason I can not recreate the vibe at my own house. But essentially, the kids play in the backyard (we have one of these at home) and my Mom and I chill. Sometimes my Aunt and her puppy swing by, but lately it has just been us. Mom usually has a glass of wine, I have been working on my May/June sock. The kids play together well... it is so awesome.
I don't know why we can't do this at home.. part of the problem is that the weather does not really allow for it but 3 months a year. Probably the other part is that after dinner we try and clean up the massive mess the kids have made during the day. Maybe we need to move cleaning up to before dinner and have that time after dinner to all chill together. I don't know, but for now I am enjoying wine time here in Cali.
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