Well, it happened. Bob took my phone. He got over the fact that is was pink. He changed my ring tone, he changed my voice message. This was supposed to be my "reward" for moving here, justified by the fact that the school might need me. Now, it is his. My pink phone.
I realize that the only thing I can control is my attitude, so I am trying very hard not to be angry about this. He needs a phone so that he can contact people when he is out networking. I understand that we can not afford to buy another phone.
So, for the next five minutes, or how ever long it takes me to write this entry, I am going to wallow in the fact that in the last 18 months, I have had to give up pretty much everything in my life. I lost my lovely kitchen in my lovely house. I left my friends. I lost my life, where I was so entrenched, that I had people calling me and offering me jobs. I have now lost my computer and my phone. I gave up all of this, so that Bob could have the job he really wanted, only once he had it he realized he didn't really want it. I lost my gym membership, so now I am stressed (I eat when stressed) and I can not work out anymore.
Most likely, once the dust settles and we are in a more peaceful place, he will be making less, so I may not get much of what I gave up back. I realize it is for the most part stuff and things, with a small sprinkle of relationships. I realize that the relationship aspect will replicate itself here. But for right now, for today, I want my old life back. I want to be pissed at B because she is a bitch. I want to be annoyed by the stupid MOMS club. I want to be concerned about the quality of the education my kids are getting. I want to cook in my kitchen. I want to go to the gym. I want to go visit M, T, K, G, E, or C because I love them and want to hang with them.
So, just for today, I want my old life back. Tomorrow, I will resume my regularly scheduled programing and go back to being positive and making the best of things. Tomorrow, I will believe that everything is gonna be alright, so don't worry. Tomorrow, or maybe even a little bit later today.
Sorry to hear about the phone. Though you were going to get some anyhow, I can bring over the "sailor yarn" soon rather than later if it will make you feel better.
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