Black Card

 In the mail today, I received, and invitation for a Black Card.  It comes in a nifty all black envelope, with gold lettering.  It was printed on very nice paper.  I was very curious to see what sort of advert I had gotten.  My money was that it was something from Black & White.  For some reason they think I should shop there.  Lo and behold, it was for a Black Card.

This is a very fancy credit card, for those of you not in the know.  I shall share with you the text from the website and the invitation:

For those who demand only the best of what life has to offer, the exclusive Visa Black Card is for you. The Black Card is not just another piece of plastic. Made with carbon, it is the ultimate buying tool. 

The Black Card is not for everyone. In fact, it is limited to only 1% of U.S. residents to ensure the highest caliber of personal service is provided to every Cardmember.

Become a Black Card member today and enjoy our 24-hour world class Concierge Service ready to assist you with all your business, travel and leisure needs.

--Copied from Blackcard.com

You read it correctly, plastic is no longer plastic, it is carbon.  That is correct, you can have a credit card made of charcoal.  I can hear it now, Santa, please put coal in my stocking this year.  I want a Black Card.

I am in so many groups, but none so exclusive as this one... I am in the group of 10% unemployed, and now am in the 1% of Americans important enough to have a Black Card.  We may be unemployed, receiving charity and unemployment benefits, but we can have access to 24 hour a day concierge services.

I checked into this concierge service situation.  You never know what you might learn!  My conversation, when something like this:

"Hello, is this the concierge service?"

"Yes ma'am it is," replies concierge on the other end.

"Great, according to this ad I got in the mail for the Black Card, it says that you will help me with all my needs," I state.

"Yes, that is correct."

"Lovely, my husband has been unemployed for 3 months, I really need you to get him a job."

"We don't do that."

"But it says here that you will help me with all of my business needs, and this would seem to me to be a pretty big business need."

"I am sorry ma'am, I can't help you with that.  Is this some kind of joke?"

"No, I want help with my business needs."

All I hear is silence, followed by a dial tone.  So, I guess the concierge service isn't so great after all.  Or at least they can not help me with my business needs.

The ad states that this card is the ultimate buying tool.  I never thought there was any problem with my traditional cards, they seem to work ok.  I had them to the clerk, they scan them and hand me my stuff, I get a bill.  I don't know that having a Black Card will impact the transaction one way or another.  Seriously, I think I can charge my purchases at the Goodwill just as well on my Chase Platinum Card, as I can on a Black Card.

Oh, did I mention there is the small $495 fee for having this card, another $195 if I want to get one for Bob.  He is not one of the 1%.  I haven't had a job in 7 years, my husband who has, isn't one of the 1%.  I am honored to be asked, but I think I will have to pass on this one.  I think including me in the 1%, might be an insult to the 1%.

I sure to appreciate the thought.  Now, I will haul my 1% self to the grocery to pick up free food, without the use of my Black Card.