Relationships

Probably the hardest part about moving has been developing the new relationships. You land in this strange place and know nobody. We moved here without knowing a soul. I have had to meet people, settle my family, and deal with all of the Bob stuff. For a while, I didn't even want to reach out to people because I was such a mess, I was terrified I would put off folks because I was so needy. That said, it was hard to isolate myself, and that would have made it worse. I have filtered through a number of relationships, looking for the ones that stick. Slowly, I am feeling less alone in this place.

But, all these relationships are still new, so some times just when you think some one is your friend, bam something happens and they shut you out. They stop talking to you, they stop telling what is going on in their lives. I have learned to be worried when someone befriends me to quickly or intensely, usually they are the ones that shut you out the fastest.

We have been through a lot this year, and I don't have the time or energy to invest in being sad about it. Perhaps, I have been through so much rejection this year, it is just another notch in the day planner. Either way, it is disappointing. I do not have any idea what I did, but I feel like I have been kicked to the curb. Oh well, tomorrow is another day, and who knows what it will hold.

This is the part about moving that I don't like. The biggest reason I don't want to move again. I don't want to have to start over again. Can I? Yes, but it is very trying to have to develop all thoose relationships all over. I try and remind myself that this isn't about being alone, but about possibilities. You never know how things will turn out, perhaps today is the day.

As my Dad always said: "Today is the day, make it a good one."