Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Die Monkey, Die

There is a monkey in Hannah's room.  She would not go to sleep, go to her room to get dressed or generally do anything that involved her room because of the monkey.

The monkey looks something like this:

I am very tired of having to be Hannah's body guard, when she is in her room. All the anti-monkey spray in the world did not seem to solve the problem. Her room reeked like a cheap bordello, but the monkey remained.

Today, pumped up from weight lifting at the gym...

... I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I went up to Hannah's room, and captured that monkey. I grabbed his tail as he ran by, and put a bag over his head. Once he was captured in the bag, I hit him with a stick until he stopped snickering. Then I jumped on the bag, ran over it with the car, jumped on it a bit more. I tossed the bag in the trash and watched the trash men crush it in the truck.

Hannah is no longer afraid to go into her room. She laughs hysterically when I recount how I killed the monkey.

I am glad it worked, because my only other option was to have Fish and Wildlife come by and take the monkey away. That's right monkey I have friends in law enforcement, so don't get any ideas.

No actual monkeys where harmed in today's wild beating...


  1. lol! that reminds me of "family guy" with the evil monkey in chris' room and how he became evil in the first place.