Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Need a helping hand?

My family likes to say we put the fun in dysfunctional.  Growing up, we were the Brady Bunch, before, well that was normal.  Most kids I went to school with didn't have half brothers and sisters.  But, I did.

My mom had two kids, a girl and a boy.  My dad had two kids, a girl and a boy.  My mom's kids were 1 year younger than my dad's kids.  So, when you merged them, they were all 1 year apart.  They got married, blending this bunch of kids.  Then, my mother got cancer and had to have her reproductive parts removed.  They couldn't have anymore kids.  So they adopted two more, a girl and a boy.  They had four kids, 11, 12, 13 and 14 years old when they adopted me.

I grew up in this wild and crazy family.  We didn't all get along.  When I was small, really they didn't like me and my younger brother.  The older kids were mean to us.  My younger brother and I fought like I can not imagine.  I have no memory of my younger brother that does not involve us fighting with each other.  My poor mother.  I think that some of my siblings resented us for "replacing" them.  I am not sure, but I am confident that the hostility we felt as children was caused by something we as babies had no control over.

Now that we are older, we don't talk that much.  This is not because we are not friends, but because that is just the way that it is.  I know that if I ever really needed something, my brothers would help me.  I think that they know I would help them. 

This brings me to my kids.  I wonder if when they are adults they will have each others backs.  I have tried very hard to instill the idea that we are to look out for each other in them.  But, when the rubber meets the road, I will have nothing to say about it.  My parents could not stop my brother and sister from resenting me. 

All I can say is that I hope that I hope that my kids help each other out.

1 comment:

  1. i didn't know you were adopted. sounds like an interesting family dynamic. i hope your kids will get along as they get older.