The Pause

Time has passed and I still have not decided what I want to do in this space.

Do I want to be a diet blog?  Talk about all the healthy recipes and food we eat now?

Do I want to talk about knitting?

Do I want to continue to use this space and a place to pour out what comes into my head?

Should I continue to talk about raising the kids?

I began to wonder, well, what is the objective of the blog?  Some things that have come to me because of the blog, include an opportunity to write for other people.  Yet, really, I have used this space as a way to express myself about what ever it is in my head.

At one time, I had all these ideas in my head.  All these things I wanted to write about.  But as daily life began to take its toll on me those ideas became less frequent.

Where I am right now is in a state of transition.  I am working on figuring out where I, where we go from here.  I have been weeding the negativity out of my life and trying to surround myself with the positive.  Nature abhors a vacuum.  I am not worried that the gaps left by the departure of the negative will not be filled.  My only hope is that they are filled with positive.

Right now, for a variety of reasons, I want to keep my life private.  I don't want everyone reading about what I am doing.  Eventually, that will change.  So, my visits here will probably be infrequent.  But, I am pretty sure I will be back.

Maybe you will be back too... maybe not.

Peace.

Hope

This week's topic is about hope.  That's it.  Just hope.

The idea stems from an article I read that hope is something that is good for you, that people who don't have hope in their lives generally are less productive and have less fulfilling relationships with others.  I thought is was interesting that hope was tied to productivity.

Before we get to deep into the topic, hope is not the same as happiness or optimism. It is about feeling that life is worth living and being happy to be alive.  Happiness and optimism live within hope, and hope can live without them.  Hope comes from within, it is really how you feel about things. So, truly hopeful people aren't faking it.  I saw a great quote about hope, it basically said that hope is internal, and you know if you don't have hope.  You can't lie to yourself about it.

A part of hope is working towards a goal, there is more to it than just goal setting and achievement.  Hope is about belief that the goal is possible and that you deserve to attain it. So many of us think, I would like X, Y or Z, but we don't believe that we can achieve it or that even if we can we don't deserve it.

You can create more hope in your life.  No matter how hopeless it seems! Some ideas:

1.  Surround yourself with people who are hopeful.  Hope is contagious.  When the people around you are hopeful, eventually, you will be too.  I think it is about norming to the group.  If the group is hopeful, people will norm to that belief.

2.  Focus:  Having too many things in your life that you want to change can be overwhelming.  On a much smaller scale, the playroom in my house is a colossal mess.  It will take days to get it cleaned up.  It is so messy that cleaning it is making me overwhelmed and hopeless.  But, by focusing on very small achievable goals, I am slowly chipping away at it.  (5 garbage bags in the trash and 3 to Goodwill so far.)  By focusing your goals on 1 or 2 things or breaking a larger goal in to manageable bites, things will seem more hopeful.

At the end of the day, hope comes from within, it isn't like happiness that you can fake.  It is something you know if you have of if you don't.  Part of trying to change that situation comes from assessing, do you have hope in your life or not?  If you don't, do you want to do something about that?  If you do, make hope part of your daily life.

This week is my last post with the group.  As you all know I have been chronically late.  This stems from the other activities in my life that keep me from being able to sit in front of a computer.  Until I'm able to do this easily from my phone it is always going to be an issue.  Being late has taken the fun out of the project.  I'm not paid for this, I do it for fun.  Since it has stopped being fun and has become a chore it is time for me to head off into the sunset.

What that means for the future of the blog remains to be seen.  My plan is to still try an post at least weekly, but not have a specific topic.  It may mean that I don't post at all, it may mean that it frees me up to post more.  I have all these ideas lately, so I am hopeful that I will post more frequently than I have.  In any event, I hope that you stop by again to see what I'm up to.

A big thank you to the amazing ladies I have had the opportunity to write with.  I am humbled by your talents and was grateful to be included in your group.  Best wishes to all of you!

I hope that you will take a moment to read what do the other ladies have to say on hope: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

America

This week's topic is about America.  

When you bing america, the first website that pops up is entitled America:  Official Website.  The address is VenturaHighway.com.  Sounds very American and very California, except there really isn't a Ventura Highway, but I digress.  The first thing you see is a picture with a caption in Italian.  It seems odd to me.   America is a band, and this would be their official website.  Apparently they have performed in Italy.  

When you google america, you get the Wiki for America.  Which focuses on the continents of North and South America.  Not the country of the USA.  That makes sense since the USA is only one part of the greater land mass labeled America.

When you yahoo america, you also get the website for the band, but the number 2 listing is for the United States.  I think it is interesting that America persists as an acceptable term to refer to our country.  As I mentioned above, it is only one country on the land mass, but I'm not feeling my soap box today.

I used AOL's search engine, and the first thing that they brought up was a map of the United States.  I won't belabor the point, but the United States is not really the only game in the America town.

I like Ask... Because their first option was a South America travel guide.  That entertained me.  It takes you to a pretty informative guide to planning your trip to South America.  Now I want to go.

Dogpile was similar to the above.  #1 the America band site, #2 Wiki for Americas and #3 was the United States listing from yahoo.  I think that is sort of how dogpile works.  

Ok, last one... gigablast.  It starts with a listing of national parks in the US.  


So, there not only is it an informative look at various search engines, it is an interesting take on America.  I leave you to check out the other ladies at:  Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Letters for Camp

Wow, I am almost on time. Don't let the shock kill you.  Our topic is to put ourselves in the shoes or paws of another person/beast.  So here we go...

Dear Mac:

I was reading in Wiley's notes that if you cannot keep the animals out of the yard you have to write the letters. I am not entirely sure what that means, but I heard that you wanted me to write you a letter, so I am doing that.

The tall man is home.  He hired me to manage office security, respond to emails and generally help out.  It is pretty boring and all he does all day is blah, blah, blah on the phone and type stuff.  I thought I was supposed to respond to the emails, but he isn't ready to give me that responsibility.  I am doing really well at keeping the kids out of his office though. I rock at that.

It seems that they won't feed me here, so I have to eat the food out of the bowl.  OUT OF THE BOWL!!!  I can't believe the horror, but I am starving, so I have submitted to this travesty.  The notes left by Wiley, said that the people here are sort of eccentric.  I am guessing this is one of those eccentricities.

I am also guessing keeping the rabbits out of the yard is another one of them.  Have you seen the size of the rabbits?  They are bigger than me.  I don't care that I have sharp teeth, I understand those things are mean and have sharp claws. NO way am I chasing one.  I am staying here on the couch where it is comfy.

Your mother keeps threatening to eat me.  Something about roasted dog for dinner and there being a yorkie cook book.  I am thinking that the yorkie cook book talks about how to cook for me, not how to cook me.  She is making me nuts.  I keep trying to push her out of the bed in hopes she will break her neck.

Speaking of the little kids, they keep playing this game called Capture the Dog.  I let them win, they think it is the greatest thing to catch me.  Let me be perfectly clear, if I didn't want them to catch me, they couldn't.  They also throw foxy and my bone, I do enjoy a good game of fetch.  It really is fun.

Other than getting a lot of grief about not keeping the rabbits out of the yard, making me eat out of the bowl and trying to cook me, I guess things are going ok.  I have hope you are having fun!  I am tired now, I need a nap.

Love, 

Bella

Check out the other ladies at:  Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

To Practical

This week's post is about superstitions.  I tend to not be superstitious.  Really, avoiding cracks is going to protect my mother's back?  I don't think that is really the case.

I do think that on some level people are superstitious to protect themselves from things that might happen.  If I do what ever, it will protect me from something harmful.  With the Blackhawks in contention for the Stanley Cup, I am sure that there are lots of folks who have special jerseys or underwear or what ever that they are wearing or doing to ensure that their team wins.

But, conversely, I am sure that there are Bruins fans doing just the same thing.  Who will be stronger?  I don't really know.  I am fairly certain that if you wear a special jersey, it is not going to have an impact on who wins or who doesn't.

I'm going to date myself, but we used to go to Indians games in our youth.  Jim Thome would come up to bat, and he would scratch his crotch, adjust his cup, or do something with his boy parts before he would hit the ball.   It was a long drawn out bat swing, crotch touch dance before each pitch.  I wanted to send him a powder or a cream for that issue.  Sometimes he hit the ball well and sometimes he didn't.  I realize that the whole crotch touch bat swing thing calmed him down and helped him perform better, but I think it was the routine that calmed him.  He could have done anything.  I for one would have preferred to eliminate the whole crotch touch part of the routine.  Really, anyone who touches themselves that much should have that looked at by a physician.

This is my windy way of saying, I am not really superstitious about much.  I  am woefully unaware that one should throw salt over their shoulder or say some prayer when they break a mirror.  

So, tonight while the Hawks play, I will be wearing nothing special and we will do nothing special.  I think that will help them win.

Check out the other ladies at:  Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Found: Puppy

This week's topic is about finding something when you stop looking for it.  It was my topic, because it was well, if you excuse the pun, topical.

About 6 months ago, we put our 16 1/2 year old dog down.  She had lived a good life and we decided to put her down rather than let her suffer for probably the 6 months or so she still had.  She was thin, loosing her eyesight and well, her mind.  She would get lost in the house. She had stopped eating.  It was really a matter of time.  We decided that it was best to end her life rather than board her while we traveled for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.  The worst outcome I could imagine was having her die while being boarded.

Wiley, was if anything a difficult dog.  She barked all the time.  The kids the neighborhood were afraid of her.  While she was good to my kids and our family, she didn't "do" other people.  We managed her behavior for the entirety of her life.   So, while we missed her when she passed, there was also a sense of relief. We no longer had to manage her.

Of course a few weeks after her death, I began to look at Petfinder.com with a consistency that lead my family to call it dog porn.  I was forever looking at one dog or another that would be "perfect"for our family.  But, in the back of my mind, I was always scared it would be another Wiley.  Bob said, NO MORE DOGS.

I finally stopped looking.

2 weeks ago, while at the gym, one of my gym buddies lamented that she needed to find a new home for her daughters dog.  I asked a few questions, is she good with kids, does she bark, etc.  All the answers were right.  I said I would talk to Bob.  I figured he would put the kibosh on it.  NO MORE DOGS!!  EVER!! was a pretty clear edict.

Mac and I presented him with some pretty strong arguments on why we should take the dog.  He weaken just enough to ask what kind of dog it was.  I told him it was a small dog. Figuring that would end things. He said, oh really, I like Yorkies!  My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years, I never knew he liked Yorkies.

Guess what family has a new dog?  And she is perfect.

Check out the other ladies at:  Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Keeping the faith

A bit out of order, as this is the last topic I have missed, but we are to share a "Chicken Soup for the Soul" story that either happened to you personally or you witnessed. (If you've never read the CSftS books, they're these sweet, heartwarming stories.)

I haven't talked much about the situation with Sam's soccer in this forum.  I didn't really have anything appropriate to say about it.  Sam's coach is a world class jerk. He is belittling to the kids, and as a result we have ended up changing soccer clubs.  Yes, we would have another coach.  But, Sam was done.

The one bright spot was keeper training.  Sam's keeper coach (KC) showed Sam enough kindness to make up for the lack of kindness that the other coach showed him.  In the end it wasn't enough to make him stay.

KC, brought Sam little treats, which he would dole out at the end of practice.  He always had a kind word to say to Sam.  He expected a lot, but he taught Sam with a gentle patience that was perfect. Sam is a gentle soul, and yelling at him and treating him poorly is not likely to get you the result you want.

I complained about the mean coach, and this was when I learned that KC's favorite kid was Sam.  KC had always told me that he liked my son.  From the very beginning he would tell me that Sam was a really great kid and he really liked having him at practice. 

Over this year, our bond with KC grew.  Seeing him was the highlight of Sam's week. Of course, because Sam loved him so much, how could the rest of us not fall in line?  After winter break when we went to our first keeper practice, Sam said he sort of wanted to give KC a hug because he had missed him so much.  Sam was so excited to see him.

So you can imagine leaving the club brought with it a sadness because we were leaving this man that we had become incredibly attached.  We gave him a gift and tried to express how important he was to us.  I am pretty sure we didn't do a very good job.  In the end, I cried.  It was so embarrassing.  But, with his calm and patient way, KC ignored me.  

As we were leaving, broken hearted, KC told us that we were welcome to practice with him anytime we wanted.  No matter that we were no longer affiliated with the club, or the other clubs he trained.  We could come any where he was.  I looked at him in disbelief, and said, are you sure?  He said, yes, so emphatically that there was no question in my mind that he would tell anyone who had an issue with it to pound salt.

So while we are leaving the club, we are not loosing KC.  We hope that this materializes, because we really don't want to loose him, he is our favorite too.

Check out the other ladies at:  Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Technology

Sorry about the radio silence.  It has been a long time without connectivity.  It is hard.... Where did we stop?   Oh yeah, on things you love to hate or hate to love.  Fits my story to a "T", so here we go!

I hate technology... or perhaps I love it.  Yikes!  Anyway, my computer bit the big one.  It dropped a deuce, it failed to work.  In any event, it no longer provided me with a reliable means to communicate with the world wide web.  Yup, I was unplugged.

Well, not exactly.  I have a smart phone.  Here's the thing, if I could put a key board on that puppy I would probably be fine.  I survived for 2 almost 3 weeks without a computer.  It is amazing what you can do on a smart phone if properly motivated.  I bought the computer I am typing on right now on my smart phone.  That seems wrong to me.  I applied for a credit card, got approved for 12 months financing, chose a computer, purchased it and then tracked it's progress to my house, all on my smart phone.  I read emails, face booked, and otherwise communicated with the world on my smart phone.

I hate people that are always on their phones, but I have become one of them.  I love my phone.  I love it I say.  I hate that I love it.  Seriously, take the kids, but touch my iPhone and I'm coming for ya.  So, that is how I survived.

During my period of being somewhat unplugged, I realized that I rely way to much on my computer.  I sit down at it on a fairly regular basis to send off some missive or another.  I use it to manage our finances.  I store pictures and knitting patterns.  All of this is gone now. Some quirk in Microsoft Windows stopped working and my computer is a doorstop.  Even with the resurrection provided by the manufacturer, it is still unstable.

At this point, I have decided that I am done with Microsoft.  I am done with the lack of stability, and the over all lack of service.  I bought an Apple.  Yeah, I know I said I would NEVER do that after they way they treated me at Christmas, but the awesome staff at the local store restored my faith.  So, here I am finally communicating with my one reader on my new computer.  It is pretty nice, thanks for asking.  It turns on and works, so that is a big improvement!

I hate technology.  I hate the hold it has on me.  I hate that without it I am sad and curled in a corner whimpering.  I think this is an issue.  But, at the end of the day, those that don't know how to use technology will be left behind.  Ok, I just really like to use a keyboard rather than a touch screen.  I type like the freakin' wind!

Even though it is super late, check out what the other ladies have to say:  Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Pain in the ...

This weeks topic is about injuries, and how they can derail your plans.

It is topical for me, and that is why I chose it... See I was out for a light jog.  Just a quick 3 miler to blow the stink off after my 10 miler the day before.  I was feeling good and then all of a sudden I was on my face sliding forward on path, into poop.  Yup, I fell face first into shit.  I can not begin to tell you how awesome that felt. 

But the insult to the injury is that now it looks like I can not do the 10 mile race at the end of the month.  I have been training for quite some time do be able to do this.  I have run up hills and down hills for 8 miles.  I have run in the heat.  I have run when I thought I might puke.  I have run in the cold where I thought my toes might freeze off.  I have run with pneumonia.  Now my ankle is going to sideline me?

I kills me to not be able to do this, but the reality is that I can not run 10 miles with the kind of pain my ankle produces with every step.  My Dr. said I could do it.  That even if it was broken (he thinks it might be) the worst that would happen is that I would break it more and have to have it casted.  If it was sprained as long as I didn't roll my ankle I would be fine.  The only thing he said, was if it hurts a lot, don't run on it.  What he didn't say is that if it is injured enough to make me not be able to run the race, it will be because I can't stand the pain.

After running 4 miles, I couldn't stand the pain.  There was no way in the world I would be able to run 10 miles.  The Dr. was right.  This injury would tell me what to do. 

Now I have to deal with the sadness of not being able to do it.  It isn't cuz I can't run the 10 miles it is because my injury won't allow me.  But, I want to prove to myself and the world, I can run 10 miles.  Now I can't.  I am letting my running partner down.  I am letting myself down.  I am disappointed.

Yes, there will be other races.  Yes, my running partner is cool about it and is already planning my return to 10 miles training schedule.  Yes, I will eventually run the 10.  For now, I am going to curl up in a ball and whimper a little, while I curse my bad luck.

Want to see what the other ladies have to say?  Check them out at:  Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

 

Rags

I'm late again... I feel like a broken record with an excuse.  But I'm going to do a two-fer and then be all caught up.  Summer can not come soon enough.

The missed topic, is magazines. 

I only take a few magazines.  I take Cooking Light, which I have subscribed to for almost 20 years.  I can't believe I have been taking one magazine that long.  I think they need to reward me for my loyalty!  I love Cooking Light.  I feel that at least the recipes are a basic start at being healthy.  They have introduced me to many wonderful ways to prepare veggies, tips to lighten my favorites, and sneaky ways to cut calorie corners without loosing taste!

I also take Real Simple.  My mom gives it to me every year for Christmas.  I like the ideas and tips.  I love the way the magazine is laid out.  The pictures just make me happy.  But, every month it is a little hug from my mom.

My magazine holding area is over flowing.  I need to clean that out.  I think I will... but only after I write my next post.

Before:




After:




Want to see what the other ladies have to say?  Check them out at:  Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

My prizes

This week's post is very late.  But, I injured myself and slid into poop in the process.  I have also had a lot going on in my personal life that makes it hard to keep up sometimes.  The falling face first into poop is a fairly graphic display of my current luck.

The topic is to discuss your prized possession.  I have 2 things that have been with me as long as I can remember.  I know I was probably 6 or 7 when I got Snoopy, it still seems like I have always had it.





My blanket was made by a distant relative.  I had it the day my parents brought me home.  I can't describe the countless hours I spent looking at the animals.  I loved them.  I took my blanket when ever we left on a trip, it went downstairs to watch television.  Eventually it was so loved that my grandmother made me another one.  I put my beloved blanket on a shelf for safe keeping.






While neither has been with me my entire life.  Through various moves they have stayed with my mom, they are with me now.

Want to see what the other ladies have to say?  Check them out at:  Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

 

Home Alone

This week's topic is to use bullet points.   No theme, other than to use bullet points.  So here we go!

• Bob has been gone for 10 days
• Kids are sick
• Soccer schedules are changed and now everything is at the same time
• I can't be 3 places at one time
• I can't get everyone to where they need to go
• No one is going to school... did I mention kids are all sick?
• Coaches are yelling at me because I don't have everything done
• Dropped the ball on Teacher Appreciation stuff
• I haven't knit in 3 days... I'm too tired by the time I have a minute to sit down
• Friends say, come with us and play, I say ok.  Oh, no I can't.  Another kid is sick and can't go to school.
• I need a break.  I need to get away from everyone.  I need someone to pick up the socks, do the dishes, put the trash cans out, bring the trash can in.
• Library books are over due
• Research papers aren't done, book reports need to be finished, earth day projects sit half completed
• I can't go to the gym... because the kids aren't going to school
• Bob just told me he has to stay longer.  I'm not entirely sure, but I may or may not have had a cosmic meltdown.  I can't remember
• I bought pomegranate wine.  It had juice in it.  That's ok for breakfast.

It is more than we were supposed to use, but I think Froggie will be ok.  Because right now, knitting isn't making everything better.

The other ladies have bullet points too... theirs are not as whiny.  But they haven't been home alone with 3 sick kids...  I'm not bitter... anyway, check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

The First Times

This week's topic is about Disney and our first visit to the Magic Kingdom. 

Growing up in California, I went to Disneyland.  Being the 5th child, I went when I was very young.  I do not really remember my first visit.  Trips to Disneyland are all one big mash-up of all the trips we took.

I remember my Dad planning out our day with military like precision.  Determining how many tickets we would have and who would get to go on what rides.  See, when I first started going to Disney, you purchased packs of tickets.  The Matterhorn was a E ticket and you got very few of E tickets in the booklets, so they were rationed out.  I was not allowed to go on the Matterhorn until my older brothers and sisters were no longer with us. 

I also remember when they switched from the tickets to an all inclusive fee.  It was met with a certain level of disdain in our household.  But, it also met unlimited rides on the Matterhorn.  I was thrilled.

My favorite ride was not the Matterhorn.  It was Small World.  I loved that ride and would beg to go on it more than once.  I was captivated by all the different sparkly puppets in this ride.  I wanted it to go slower so I could see everything.  I would beg to go at least twice so I could look at the right side for one ride and the left on the next.  That way, I surmised, I would be able to see everything.  I remember trading my E ticket for another ride on Small World.  My mom liked it because the line was never long and it was a slow ride that allowed you to sit down.

When I was in High School, our graduation party was at Disney.  My BFF and I rode Small World a bunch of times.  The party was an all-nighter and Small World let us rest from the tiring party.

We saw shows.  We met characters.  We rode all the rides, including Space Mountain.  My younger brother cried like a baby on Space Mountain.  But, I will always remember the rationing of the tickets and Small World.

We would usually go for just one day.  Driving home after being at the park all day.  I remember getting into the car, exhausted, feet sore and ready to rest until we got home.  Waking only once the car stopped at the stop sign at the top of the on ramp.

The other ladies shared their first experiences too.  Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Small World

This week's topic is to talk about a small world situation that happened to you personally. (If you're really stuck for one, then talk about one that happened to someone in your family.)

I'm not going to talk to the small world coincidences surrounding meeting Froggie... trust me, there were so many of them we were destined to have our paths cross and become friends.  I am going to talk about last Saturday.

Last weekend, Mac had his first session with TopSoccer.  TopSoccer is a soccer club for disabled kids.  Mac is a volunteer coach/buddy for the program.  He is doing it for his service requirement for his Bar Mitzvah.  He was VERY nervous on the first day.  His shoulders were tight up around his ears.  You see the tension in his eyes.  He was stressed.  I was very concerned that he would have an anxiety attack. 

As I was getting ready to walk out and leave him, in walked our across the street neighbor, W.  It was like the sky opened, angels sang and all was right with the world.  The tension melted from his body and he was suddenly much less concerned.  W didn't hang with him the whole time, but he hung with Mac long enough for Mac to get settled and then he brought Mac home for me.  It was a huge to have his help.

The irony of the whole thing is that W is not a big soccer guy.  This volunteer opportunity was pretty far away from our house.  It was not a place where we would have expected to run into someone we knew, especially someone outside of the soccer world.

These things have started to happen to us more and more.  We are starting to run into people we know when we are out and about.  It means that we are started to be settled into our lives here in Illinois.  It is a nice thing to finally a part of things around here.

The other ladies have had that small world feeling. Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Finally I get the last word

This week's topic, is about the last word.   My father always told me sometimes the best last word is silence.  There have been many times that I have not followed that rule.  But, having spent the last couple of years dealing with my brother's ex, I have learned that silence is very powerful.  I wasn't totally silent in this situation, but I also didn't argue.

I recently confronted a "friend" on why she was continually blowing me off.  I was frustrated with her and I had decided that I wanted closure from the relationship.  I had not spoken to her in a long time and at the end of the day, I didn't miss her. 

We did not have much in common.  She was organic and Whole Foods, and I was goodwill and coupons.  Her kids were younger than mine.  I was done with babies and she had just had one.  She was hipster environmental, and I was crazy-eyed, hanging on by a thread, over scheduled mom. 

Her oldest was Hannah's age.  He had some disabilities.  Not the easy to see disabilities but the ones that cause your kid to act out and make you not popular on the play ground.  I have a kid like that.  He was much older.  In some sense I think that was the basis of our relationship.  I had been there and I knew what she was going through.  In the wild of it all, seeing a person who knows what it is like to have a kid that isn't sweet and nice all the time bonds you together.   It is like an oasis in the storm.

So, based on this, I really didn't have much to loose, so I asked the question.  In her response she said that I was too confrontational and righteous and she didn't want to be friends with me.  The irony of this is that I probably didn't filter myself as much as I should have because she told me she liked people that were really direct.  At the end of the day she told me she didn't value our relationship anymore either.

But, her response was brilliant, because if I respond at all to it, I am being righteous and confrontational, hence proving her point.  So, I did not argue but asked for specifics of why she felt that way.  It was more for my own edification than anything else, she never responded.

What I would like to say to her now is:

Hey, you know what you did and what you said was mean and hurtful.  It is totally ok for you to feel the way you do about what ever it was that I did, but to not provide specifics about it... well, that is sort of jerkish.

I fully accept that I am confrontational.  I am not afraid to take a stand and then fight for what I believe in.  Some folks are cool with that and some aren't.  But at the end of the day, it is who I am.  I am a lot of things, wishy-washy is not one of them.  If I were to make an accusation like you did, I would full stand by it and provide specifics.  Guess that just goes to show the difference in our personal ethics. 

I think your behavior is also righteous, and exemplified in your email to me by the statement:  "I don't like to change people."  That is a pretty righteous statement.  Offering feedback to someone you like and respect is just that, feedback.  You no sooner have the power to change me than fly to the moon of your own will.  But it is respectful and kind to offer feedback.

Peace out sister... good luck.

Wanna hear the last word from the other ladies? Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Fortune

The topic this week is about fortune cookies.  Cookies... yum.  Since it is Passover, and eating cookies isn't an option, all I can think about is eating a cookie.  But, I digress, here is the exact topic:

This week is about fortune cookie fortunes. Do you have a fortune cookie fortune that came true? One you wish would come true? Do you think they are silly? Share your thoughts!
 

The story I always heard about fortune cookies was that they were created in a Chinese restaurant in Los Angeles when the owner was looking for a way to keep his customers occupied while they waited for their food.  The cookies offered conversation starters.  I tried to find this story on the Internet, and I couldn't, so I am pretty sure my grandfather made it up, but it is a nice story.

For a long time, I had a fortune taped to my computer screen.  It said something to effect that everything was going to be ok.  At some point I changed monitors and I lost the fortune.  But, I believe that everything is going to be ok.  No matter what happens in my life, it will be ok.

I think fortune cookies are just what the story says, conversation pieces.  They can provide you comfort when you hit on one that resonates.  While I do not think that individual cookies can predict the future, I do believe that anything that provides comfort is valid.  It would be awesome if cookies could provide a glimpse into the future.  I do imagine that if they could we would buy a lot more of them.

Why does knowing the future weigh so heavily on our minds?  I think it is based in the uncertainty of life.  The fact that just when it seems that everything is going in one direction something happens that dramatically changes out course of action.  I think we like to cling to anything that might give us clue to the future.   But, at the end of the day, all you can do is recognize the patterns and try and listen to your gut, and accept that all we can control is our actions and reactions.

Want to see what the other ladies have to say?  Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Highway to Hell

This weeks, or rather last week's topic is to discuss the things you did as a kid that you might not have told your parents about... you know the stuff they might not have been so happy to know you did.

Well, my story starts on a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair.  I had a new to me car and a friend in the co-pilot's seat.  My friend and I both liked to drive fast.  My new car was sporty, it was a Honda Accord, LXi hatchback.  It was a fuel injected speedster.  I liked that car.

We wanted to see how fast said vehicle could go.  There was a stretch of 134 near our college that was generally untraveled late at night.  We had not been drinking, we had this total lapse of judgement with all our facilities in tact.  You can imagine where this is going. 

There was no one else on the road.  I looked at my friend, she looked and me and said "hit it."  So it did.  We were up around 120 miles per hour (we pegged the speed o meter) when the lights appeared in my rear view mirror.  As you can imagine, getting a ticket for this type of speed is not going to end well.

My friend immediately suggests offers of sexual favors to get out of the ticket.  I look at her and tell her to shut up.  She is offering cash as an option.  What are we going to do?

The officer knocks on my window and asks me if I know why he pulled me over.  In a flash of genius, I look up at him, stick my chest out, open my eyes real wide and say, "because I was going too slow?"  The sincerity with which I delivered this line, silenced my friend and caused the officer to crack just the slightest smile. 

"Too slow," he says back to me, "how do you figure?"

"Well, sir, I saw the sign back there and it said 134.  I can't imagine we were going that fast, but we were trying."  I said back to him with the most sincere polite voice I could muster.

At which point, the officer, cracks up and says to me that I have given him the best excuse he has heard in a very, very, very long time.  He then went on to tell me about the dangers of speeding.  He said that he did not think we were drunk, just really stupid.  He told me if my license came back clean he would let me off with a warning. 

It came back clean and I left with a warning.  My parents never knew.  I didn't have to get bailed out of jail, and while I have always wondered how fast my mini van can go I have never tried to find out.

Want to see what the other ladies did in their past?  Check them out at:  Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Thanks go to

This week's topic is about thanking people, specifically:  Make your "Oscar" speech. Thank someone (can be as many people as you feel necessary) for something special that has happened in your life.

Gratitude.  All our lives are incredibly blessed.  I find that it is easy to get caught up in the trivial unpleasantness that impacts us.  To allow that unpleasantness to let us be negative.  At the end of the day, most of us have a great deal to be thankful. 

When I am getting caught up in the minor inconveniences of my life, I find it important to remember how things could have been.  I spent my very young life in foster care.  The first 6 weeks of my life were with a family that takes in unwanted infants.  It is part of the process of adopting out babies.  The plan was not for me to grow up in foster care, but rather to be adopted out to a family that wanted a baby.  Which is what happened.  But, things could have gone down differently.

My birth mother was 16 years old when she got pregnant with me.  She could have chosen to keep me.  It seems most 16 year olds these days keep their babies.  It is a very massive amount of maturity to make the decision to give up you baby, most 16 year olds do not possess that.  What if my birth mother did not possess that?  What if the people around her did not encourage her to put her baby up for adoption?

It is those what ifs that I go back to when ever I am feeling like things are not going as well as I would like.  If my mother had kept me it is very unlikely that I would have ended up outside of the welfare system.  Perhaps I would have figured out how to get out of the system, but I am not sure I am exceptional enough to have done that.  I am incredibly blessed that I was never put in the situation where I had to see if I could drive myself out of poverty.

So, while I have never met her, my birth mother made a decision at 16 years old that had a profound impact on  my life (I imagine it had a profound impact on her life too).  I appreciate that she had the maturity and strength to choose the life that was best for both of us, even if that meant we would not be together.  I can not imagine that it was an easy choice.  My only wish is that now, I could meet her and tell her thank you.

Here is the audience participation part, if you know an adult who gave their child up for adoption, thank them for me.  I can not thank my mother, but I can try and thank all the other people who made the same choice.  It was heroic.  They are heroes.

For all the teens that are pregnant, consider before you abort, giving your child a chance with another family.  You don't make a big change to your outcome, and you give that child opportunities.  Consider before you keep the baby, that adoption might be the best choice for both you.  That giving the child up might allow you opportunities and your child opportunities that the two of you cannot get together. (I am not pro-life, but that is a different discussion.)

Thanks mom, you made an amazingly difficult choice and every day I benefit from that.

Want to see who the other ladies want to thank?  Check out them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Flu shots? Not for me

The topic for this week relates to the article linked below.  Essentially, a 61 year old nurse was let go after 21 years of service for refusing to get a flu shot.  She had refused to get a flu shot for the past 21 years.  This year, it was a firable offense.

Nurse Fired for Refusing Flu Shot

I shout foul.  Everyone thinks the flu shot is the best thing ever.  Well, I am here to tell you that it isn't as effective as you might think.  Good hygiene, that is the way to go. 

I vaccinate my kids with all the "have-to" shots.  We do not do the flu shot.  I am sort of cavalier about this.  We have never had the flu.  If we ever get it I might change my mind.  But, my issue with the flu shot is just this, it doesn't really work. 

According to the CDC the flu shot was only 9% effective with older people.  (One source for this statistic)  They categorize that at people 65 and over.  But, I imagine it is some sort of bell curve.  So, the nurse in the article could have gotten the shot and it most likely would have had little impact on her health or the health of her patients.  In my mind, it is not worth putting a forgein substance created by big pharma in my body.  9% effective?  Yeah, I think I'll risk it.

The shot changes from year to year, and since it has to be made before everyone really knows what the flu strains are going to be it is all just a guess.  So, the effectiveness is based on how well the flu forecaster forecasts.  I would say they are probably as good as the weatherman.  Sometimes they nail it, sometimes they don't.  So from year to year, you just don't know.  I appreciate that this is the best that we have.

So, I ask you, do the risks out weigh the rewards in this situation?  I don't think so.  If I knew that the flu shot would protect me 90% of the time, I might feel differently.  50/50?  Yeah, I think I'll take my chances with good hygiene. 

It is just fairly unlikely that the flu will kill you.  According to the CDC about .05% of the people with the flu actually die from it.  Since the shot is maybe 50% effective and the likelihood that I will die from what I am preventing is fairly small, I do not think that the risks outweigh the rewards of the shot.  At the end of the day, I could get the flu shot and still die from the flu.

I feel fairly strongly that until the vaccine is actually effective hospitals have no business firing people for not getting it.  All this hospital did was loose a good nurse.  The statistics show that vaccine or no vaccine she was not protected against the flu this year.

Check out the other ladies take on the subject: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl
 

Falling?

The topic for this week is:

Are you afraid of success? Why or why not? Are you afraid of failure? Why or why not?
 

I would like to start and really finish with my over-riding belief that if you aren't falling you aren't learning.  It was summed up by my yoga teacher very nicely, as we were in tree pose, falling all over the place.  If a person falls out of tree pose in the forest and no one is there to hear it....  but I digress.  As we were falling, she said, "It doesn't matter that you fall 7 times, only that you get up 8 times."

We packed up our entire family, sold our beautiful house, bought a less beautiful house for a crap ton more money, and plunked ourselves down in a new place.  A place where we knew no one.  A place that quite honestly after living here for 4 years, I don't like.  We did this, because my husband wanted to run his own business.  We were given the opportunity for him to try that out without us having to buy a business.  It seemed like a good idea at the time.

It wasn't.

We failed.

It didn't end well....    or did it?

It hasn't really ended, because we are all organic creations of our successes and failures.  We got back up.  We repositioned ourselves.  Things worked out ok.  You could look at where we are with one lense and say it continues to be a failure.  I choose not to do that.  We got back up.

My Dad, was a great guy.  When we would ski and I would be proud of making it down without falling, he would calmly look at me and tell me next time we would do a harder run.  When I run, I try and run faster and better.  I am always trying to do it better.  Every day is a new day, a new chance to do it better than yesterday.  If I fall.... I get back up.

Wanna see if the other ladies are falling?  (will they make a sound if no one is there to hear them?)  Find out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

My Purse

 

Topic for this week is to share what is in your purse.  A woman's purse is like a secret place.  I remember as a kid, my mom's purse contained everything you could ever want or need.  It was not huge, but still she always had the answer in her purse.  We were never allowed to look in it, because it is rude and intrusive to go into a ladies purse.  In fact, to this day I feel strange looking for something in her purse, even when I am being directed to do so.  My husband would never, ever go in my purse for something.  It is a confidential satchel of stuff.

With that said, I am going to spill out the contents on my purse.  In the spirit of full disclosure, I got the idea for this topic as I cleaned my purse out a few weeks ago, so things aren't that bad.

The main pocket has the usual stuff, my wallet, the kids wallets, sunglasses, gift cards, store loyalty cards, etc.

The side pocket has our family mascot, Captain.  He is a sheep finger puppet.  He occasionally comes out when the kids are being really bad.  He is a harsh disciplinarian.  He is also super funny and can keep them entertained.  Captain has crayons that he shares as needed.  The other side pocket has emergency paper, to go with the crayons.

Finally, the pile of receipts I pulled out of my purse!

My purse is no longer the receptacle of kid stuff.  I no longer carry snacks or juice boxes.  Generally, all I have is my stuff.  Check out what the other ladies are toting around at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Candy... Oink

This week's very delayed topic is about Candy.  Yes, it was supposed to be posted last week.  I was so sick that getting out of bed was not really an option.  Then I had to catch up all the things I didn't do for 2 days, while I lazed around in bed.  So, this blog is on the list of things to catch up on, and here I am catching up.

Enough preamble, I want Candy!

Candy happens to be a pig.  This pig:

Candy likes to roll in the mud and eat oats.  She hates it when people tell her she is fat.  She is very loyal and is looking for her forever home... which she hopes has lots of snuggles.  Don't worry, she won't make too big a mess at your house.

Candy is up for auction.  If you should want to own Candy, all the proceeds from her purchase goes to the Community School of the Arts.  It is a really cool school that has amazing art and music lessons for children starting at 3 years old.  They aren't horribly expensive, but if you don't have a lot of disposable income or have a couple of kids taking classes the costs can add up.  The money goes to scholarships.

Unlike scholarships given to players on Sam's soccer team, the recipients are expected to attend a certain number of classes or they loose their scholarship.  I like that.  I find that if people don't pay for something, if it is free, they tend to value it less and don't show up.

If you want to bid on Candy, follow this link:  http://www.biddingforgood.com/auction/item/Item.action?id=187164966

The other ladies are talking about Candy too, but I think it might be candy... in any event, check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Dedicated to...

This week's topic is song dedications.  There are a lot of songs that are meaningful to me and my family, but we are going to keep it current!

So, to my daughter, I dedicate Hey Soul Sister.  When ever it came on the radio she had to listen to it, because in her words, she is the soul sister. 

To my oldest son, Swedish House Mafia's Don't You Worry Child, because Tiago in Seattle has a plan for you.  It is a long and convoluted inside joke.  But, it is currently the song.

 

To my middle child, Imagine Dragons On Top of the World, he listens to it to pump up before a big soccer game.  We sing it a lot around the house.

To Froggie, Hot Chelle Ray Tonight Tonight.  Because well, it has been seven days of torture, seven days of bitter....

Finally, just cuz I think it is awesome that the song mentions Yom Kippur, I leave you with Train 50 Ways to Say you Died.  The video is awesome.

Want to see what the other ladies are listening too? Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Loyal? Maybe

Brand loyalty is the topic this week. 

This week about a brand loyalty. Is it a good thing? Bad thing? Is there a brand(s) that it would take a vast shift in the universe to get you to stop using?

I have none.  I am not loyal to anything.  There, done with the post... see ya!  Just kidding!  I am loyal to one thing, but I am equally disloyal to anything else.

I am totally loyal to my hair color.  I have been using the same brand and the same color for years.  One time they discontinued my color and it was horrible.  It took me about 6 months to figure out what color I liked.  When I did, I haven't looked back.  I buy it in bulk with coupons. 

Oh, you didn't know I color my hair?  I do, I have been prematurely grey since I was 25 years old.  I started going grey at 16, and was 75% grey at 25.  I am still about 75% grey.  There have been times when I didn't color my hair.  Like when I was pregnant.  I was 8 months pregnant with Hannah, had Mac and Sam in the cart and some asshat salesman said, isn't it nice that you are out with your grandchildren.  At that moment I decided Hannah was far enough along and I was coloring my hair.  I bought a box of dye on the way home. 

I started to color my hair when I was in my early 20's.  I ran into a friend from college at a train station in Boston.  First words out of her mouth where, OH MY GOSH you are grey.  Really?  This was a very shocking chance meeting and all she can comment on is my hair?  I decided that must be really noticeable and colored it for the first time in the hotel room.

I am very disloyal to Honda products.  We will never buy another Honda vehicle again.  I have owned 3 Hondas, and only 1 was any good.  Bob's Accord and my Odyssey were crap.  Massive pieces of unreliable junk.  I know some folks have had good luck with their Hondas, us, not so much.  I will never buy another one.  You could not make me.  There would have to be a massive shift in quality for me to ever consider a Honda again.

Want to see what the other ladies are loyal too?  Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Collecting

The topic this week is about collections.  What do you collect and why is that a reflection of you?

I am sort of compulsive about collections.  Once I decide I like something I have to have it all, in all the colors.  I realized this about myself when my kids were little.  We would get a new book or toy and they would list all the others in the collection on the package.  It was some strange force that would drive me to have to collect them all.  Once I would collect them, I would organize everything so all the collections were together.

Of course the downside to this strange obsession, is that you end up with more stuff than you need.  As most people know, I hate stuff.  There is this internal conflict to have everything and yet have nothing all at the same time.  I know, seven million pounds of crazy over here.

Right now, I am collecting yarn.  I have this need to have all the yarn in all the brands in all the colors.  I realize that I will never ever be able to use all the yarn in all the brands in all the colors.  It isn't practical, it is expensive and it is a little obsessive.

So, as I was contemplating how to manage this new collection, the newest collection came to me.  There is a forum on ravely for cold sheeping.  Cold sheeping is not buying anymore yarn.  As part of this, you get to collect chips, like in AA.  My newest collection is going to be cold sheep chips.  At least until I collect the whole set.

I has actually been harder than I expected, but I am now looking for weight loss chips.  Perhaps that would motivate me to get back on that program. 

Want to see what the other Ladies collect? Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Measure of a year

The topic for this week is what is:  In "Seasons of Love" from the musical "Rent," they ask "How do you measure a year?" Throughout the song, they list the ways in which one might do so. ("In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee...") Talk about how YOU measure a year.

There are many "years" in my life, there is the new school year, the Jewish new year, the secular new year, the fiscal year, the anniversary of many different events.  There are many different points where things begin and end that can be used to mark time.

The objective is generally to make the next year better than the last.  We want this school year to be measured more by success than by phone calls to/from the principal.  It is great when prizes come home to fill my fridge.

 We hope that the new fiscal year brings another year of job security.  Perhaps a raise and a promotion?  But, we hope for another year of employment.

 

One of the key messages during the high holidays, is to try and improve and make the world a better place.  Everyday is a chance to make different choices and try and do things better.  To improve the world.  I don't really think about the marking of time in terms of beginnings and ending (well except when ending means saying buh-bye to the ah principal), I think about each day as the opportunity to make better choices and do things better.

 

Want to see what the other Ladies measure? Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Yoga?!

Remember when I said I would post on time last week... yeah, it didn't happen.  I mean, there are 3 activities on Thursday evenings, reading with the first grade, taking the car to the mechanic, going to the gym, etc. etc. etc.  But in reality it is because I didn't do my new thing until today.

The topic is do something you have never done and write about it.  I don't usually read the other posts until after I write my own, because I don't want to be influenced by them.  I did this week, and I feel like such a sheep.  (OK, being a sheep isn't a horrible thing in my world, but still.)

I went to hot yoga.  (See another fitness post... I am just like everyone else.)

I made my friend Donna go with me.  She had to promise a million times over that she would be there with me, that she would hold my hand.  I was super nervous.

The instructor walked in.  OMG she is super cute, but she wasn't all scary toned and she didn't look like some sort of walking pretzel.  Trust me she has control over her body that takes your breathe away, but she looks normal on the outside. 

I sucked all the air out of the room, summoned my courage and marched up to her and said, "I'm new.  I will most likely spend most of the class falling over."  She laughed and said, "do what you can, no one cares.  I will correct you if you do something wrong is that ok?"  I told her she might just want to move her mat right over next to mine, cuz that was where she would be hanging out.  She told me not to worry.

We started.  It started with a mediation and then we went through a series of poses, many of which I had already seen in other classes.  I didn't fall on my face, and I could actually do at some level most of the poses that were presented.  I was pretty impressed.

I got the stretching for my legs that I was looking for, my hammies have been super tight lately and it felt good to stretch all that out.  But something happened that I hadn't counted on, all that stretching activated my limbic system and made me have to pee like crazy.  It is something that can happen after a good massage, I never thought yoga would have the same impact.  It was an interesting side effect.

I really enjoyed the class.  I liked how peaceful it was, I like how I felt afterwards.  I know I am going to keep going.  My friend Donna was glad to have a convert.  We will still go to class together, but now cuz we are buds and not because she is my security blanket!

Want to see what the other Ladies did? Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke

First off, I'd like to dedicate my on time post to Merrylandgirl.  I recently learned I caused her much stress over the year by being tardy.  Oops... but, I will talk more about this in a minute.

Our topic is to talk about the lessons you learned over 2012 and how you will apply them to 2013.

I learned some big lessons and some not so big lessons.  One of them was that carbs are evil and that I am addicted.  As I am trying to avoid medications and get myself on a more healthy path, I have learned that shaking my addiction to carbs is a lot harder than I would have thought.  I am learning to like more veggies.  Although I recently learned that some of my favorite veggies are really fruit, but I digress.  There are days when I can not make it without my carb pick me up.  I find that no matter how hard I try and avoid them, I just can't.  I get a little crazy.  It really is like a drug addict trying to avoid getting high.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend about my particular addiction to wheat thins.  Until I started eliminating carbs, I really couldn't care less about them, now they are like sugar coated crack.  She surmised that I must really want the corn syrup.  Interesting, because as part of this project, I have inadvertently eliminated corn syrup.  No carbs = no processed food = no corn syrup.  I am now really careful to avoid corn syrup.  Now that I am off it, I find that even the smallest amount sends me on a wheat thin binge.

I can talk more about food, and how changing what I put in my body has changed my life significantly, but I also want to talk about the lesson learned in a bottle of tequila.  The lesson itself wasn't new, it was something I had been trying to embrace all year, but it crystallized at my Uncle's house this holiday season.  See my basic philosophy is fuck 'em if they can take a joke.  It is all about doing the best you can and not worrying about what others think.  (I try and post on time, but my life gets the way of my best intentions.  I do the best I can, and if other's don't like it?  Well, that is sort of not my problem.  While I am sorry that I caused undue stress, and will take that in consideration for the future, I can only do what I can do.)

But, back to my Uncle.  I stood in his house after being spoken to like the hired help and decided, you know what, I am a grown ass adult, I don't have to do this anymore.  I do not have to subject myself to his abuse.  I don't have to subject my children to abuse from his grandchildren.  I don't have to listen to the grandchildren speak ill of my family.  I don't have to do this anymore.  I am perfectly comfortable saying this to his face.  You and some members of your family have treated me like I am gum on the bottom of your shoe, so guess what we are going to pack up our toys and go home.  All I can do is what I can do, and what I can do isn't good enough for this crew, so fuck 'em. 

I will spend time with the ones that I like and not bother with the rest.  There are some good ones in that group, don't want to throw the baby out with the bath water!  The stress that was a big part of the holiday season evaporated.  It was like the heavens opened and angels sang.

I will spend my time and energy in places where it is appreciated and respected.  I will try and post on time, but I am pretty sure I will fail at this a lot.  I will continue to try and not eat carbs, but if you see me hell bent on a box of wheat thins, you might want to move out of the way.  I am sure I will learn more things, but you know what, Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!

What did the other ladies learn?  Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

 

**Motto credit goes to my very fist boss out of Grad school.  It was her family's motto, and we stole it.  It was too freakin' awesome to not take.  But, I like to give credit where credit it due.