At Sunday School yesterday, my little gaggle of friends got to taking about my most recent blog post. They were all in agreement with my basic premise, you must choose one, you can not be both. This of course is probably because they all choose one. Interestingly, my group of friends are the non-Jewish partners in the relationship, but it is US that hang at religious school not our Jewish spouses. As an aside, I think now it is because we like the company, but in the beginning it was because we were following through on our decisions.
One of the folks turned the conversation to, what would you do if something happened to your husband? If he left you or worse died? I have thought about what I would do if Bob died on numerous occasions. Let's face facts he used to travel all the time, I worried.
My plan would be to move to La Conchita, live on the beach and let the palm fronds fall where they may. But, at no point did I consider what I would do about the kids religious up-bringing. Should I enact my plan, they would be bussed to a good school in town, about 20 minutes away. But, would I schlep them to temple two times a week? Doubtful there would be any other Jews in La Conchita to car-pool with, and I would most likely have to have a job.
The decision has been made to raise the kids with a specific religious background. If Bob is no longer in the picture, it is still my responsibility to continue on that path. For what ever reason, if the kids lost their Dad, it wouldn't be cool to also have them have to change who they are. Remember, I said that all three of them would say they are Jewish NOT Christian. I never considered the long term implications of my decision; which is surprising, because until yesterday I would have told you I thought it through.