Hannah had 5 shots yesterday. She was very cranky today, a fever, bad attitude, the whole 9. ALL DAY! Needless to say, it was a long day. By the time I got in the car to take the kids I babysit home, I was cooked, fried. I was definitely done with being patient and kind.
When I hear from the back of the car, "I forgot my elephant." A whole string of expletives ran through my head including but not limited to, you forgot your freakin' elephant? You never put the damn thing down, how the hell did you forget it? I suck in a deep breathe of air, basically ridding the van of oxygen and turn the car around.
Deciding I will call Mac and have him meet me at the door with the elephant, I ask, where is it? I am told, it is in my backpack. Seriously, it is in your backpack? We have turned around and are heading back to get an elephant that is in the car. I flip another U-turn. This one slightly more legal but still, minimal oxygen remained in the car as I tried to summon the last shreds of patience.
The things running through my mind, were no jury would convict me, they would understand if I snap. Who wouldn't snap after the day I have had. It is ok to snap. Then it hit me. Remember the whole thing about self talk? Rather than convince yourself that it is ok to snap, try and convince yourself that you still have patience and that you can still manage this situation. You are in control of your emotions not the other way around.
I have been preaching this to Mac for the last couple of weeks, now it was time for me to try it myself. Guess what, it worked. I just kept reminding myself that I could keep it together and I did. By the time I pulled into the driveway (yes angels sang, rainbows appeared and there was music heard from the skies, your point?) I was in a much better place. I felt less like I was going to snap and more like I had my shit together.
By the time I pulled out of the driveway, the Dad's enthusiasm about his great day had infected my mood and everything was good. Until Hannah realized she could have stayed home and played computer with the boys and had a temper tantrum. But still, I didn't snap.