Tuesday, August 7, 2012


My  Run-aversary was a couple of weeks ago.  I have started this post about a million times, both in my head and on the computer.  There is so much to say about this past year of running, and yet, I seem to be unable to say it.  It is almost like the story is bigger than me.  So, I guess I am just going to talk about some of the things I have learned.

I have learned that no matter how long you run, it will always be hard if you are going to get better. If you want to stay the same, yes, eventually it will get easier.  For some stupid reason, I want to go faster, run farther and generally do better this run than last run.  It is always hard.

I can almost run a 10 minute mile. 

The road of life is not filled with one single giant thing.  It is filled with a bunch of little things that become a giant thing.  Each run is made up of thousands of steps.  It isn't just one step that takes you to the end.  If you knee hurts or your foot bothers you on that last step, you get to do it again.  Maybe this time it won't hurt.  Maybe the next time you will try something different.  There is something about not stopping.  I have learned to just keep swimming, or running in this case.

I can run 6 miles, without stopping.

When I first started running I didn't want anyone to see me.  I was fat and slow and I was embarrassed by how I looked when I ran.  I didn't want anyone to laugh at me.  Guess what, no one ever laughed at me.  Most people on the trail give me a thumbs up, wave, say something encouraging or just ignore me.  No one says, hey, look at the fat chick, she thinks she can run, bahhahaha.

I am an inspiration to other fat girls that don't think they can. 

Part of this journey has included weight loss.  As I run, I battle my demons with food.  I try and turn to running instead of food when the going gets rough.  When I run, it seems like nothing can get me.  I am able to make the bad stuff stop.  Trust me, I had a lot of bad stuff happen this year.  Being able to do something else to make me feel better that isn't eating has helped me with my weight.  My relationship with food is changing.  It is a slow process, but I want to run better, farther and faster.  It is helpful if I am lighter and better fueled.

I have lost 35 lbs.  I will lose another 35 lbs.

As I mark my 1 year of running, I realize that I can do it.  When I first started I was buoyed by the belief of one friend who told me many years ago that I could.  When I thought I couldn't run a mile even if I was being chased by zombies and bears, she believed I could.  You know what, she was right.  Not so much that she believed in me, but because she knew that if you decide to do it your body will follow.  Our bodies will do what we tell them. Running is more mental then physical.  If you don't think you can, you won't.

I can.  You can.

Come run with me.

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