Thursday, November 10, 2011

Beware of the Naked Man Who Offers You His Shirt

It is Thursday.  It has been a really shitty day, so before I dive into the topic at hand I want to paint the picture of my mental status.  I have not been feeling real well for the past 2 or 3 weeks.  Not sick, just not right.  The stress level in our house seems to be inching its way back up.  Last week when I did my thankful post and said, "I probably wouldn't do this again unless we went back to the dark place," made me nervous.  Because I felt that the dark place was looming over us, like a cloud on the horizon that you can sense but not quite make out.  Now, the dark place is that black line of storm clouds marching towards you.  There is still time for the wind to blow them a different direction and spare you, but will it?

I am going to get to our topic, which comes as a welcome relief to the reality of what is happening here.  The likelihood is that I will not probably ever address the reality of what is happening here, because somethings aren't really any of your business.  No, I am not trying to be coy either.  I just wanted you, my lovely reader to understand that as I write today, I am really running from something that scares the shit out of me, that I am not sure I can do again.  Chocolate anyone?

Our topic is to talk about clothes you can not wear or would never wear.  It stems from Momarock's babysitter wearing jeggings on her most recent assignment at the house of Momarock.  I imagine that Momarock could rock the jeggings, but she says that they are something she would never wear.

So, I am over-40 and over-weight. This list of things I can not wear or will not wear is long and alphabetized.  Seriously, there are somethings that the general public that can see wants to never have me wear.  A bikini leaps immediately to mind.  I swim, I wear a bathing suit, but without a large enough lycra content to keep all the jiggly parts from jiggling, it ain't happening.  I see people who are too large to wear a bikini and think, while I respect your self-confidence, you might want to re-think your fashion choice.

I think that I might be happier if my fashion choices didn't revolved around "things that cover my body."  But, I also don't want to expose my stomach to anyone.  So, if it is too tight, too short, too belly shirt, it ain't happening with this girl. 

There is a whole range of 20 something clothing options that are just not appropriate for a woman of my advanced age.  I like to look cute and stylish, but I don't want to look like a fool trying to wear her teen aged daughter's clothes.  My actual daughter's clothes won't fit me... no way no how.

I saw some tights at the mall one day.  They were ripped, and had a mock fly on them.  But they were not jeggings, they were tights.  Why in the world do you need tights with a mock fly on them?  Seriously, tights are NOT ment to be worn outside of your skirt.  I could sort of see how these tights would look cute with a mini-skirt, in an 80's retro sort of way.  But, they are just not an appropriate pant for anyone.   What do you think?  (Remember they are tights, made out of a fabric that reminds me of beefed up pantyhose.  Hannah has tights that are more substantial than this.)

I am going to leave you with that picture, because a picture is worth a thousand words.  Want to see what the other ladies have to say?  Check them out at:  Froggie, Momarock, Merrylandgirl.

PS  Don't worry about us, just say a prayer for us!  We are trying to avoid a rocky place and could use the help.


  1. too crazy about the tights. prayers have been sent!

  2. Oh.. My... God... the tights say it all.

    Big prayers from us, to you Susanna! I hope your road smooths out here very soon!!!