Pizza Pie

First, sit down.  I am actually writing the Thursday post on Thursday.  I know, it is shocking.  Anyway, today's topic is to talk about pizza.  What kind do you like and what toppings.

Pizza.  It is like religion in our household.  We take our pizza very seriously.  My mother does not like pizza.  It think it is the strangest thing.  How can you not like pizza?

We have lived in two pizza capitals, New England, known for the New Haven style pizza.  New Haven style is brick oven with a very thin crispy crust.  The crispier the better.  When we moved to Chicago, we knew we would never eat good pizza again.  We ordered a bunch of pies before we headed out of town.  We fed the movers and then longing packed up the rest to be savored in the car.

While I used to love pizza with everything, a good slice of New Haven style pizza is really best just plain cheese, occasionally one can add a slice or two of pepperoni.  But, tons of toppings, never.  It ruins the taste of the crust and the sauce.  The sauce is a melange of fresh tomatoes, basil and garlic.  The sweetness of the tomatoes is enhanced by the brick oven, which crisps the crunchy, chewy crust.   When ever we go back to Connecticut, we always grab a pizza. 

Sure, we have found a place that makes a decent NY style pizza, but there is only one place that makes a good New Haven style pizza.  We drive almost an hour to go to a bowling alley pizza joint to get our New Haven pizza fix.  Vito and Nicks, that is some good pizza, but still not as good as the original.

Now, I live in Chicago.  Known for its deep dish pizza.  The buttery flaky crust, the sauce on top and loaded with fillings.  It isn't even pizza to this girl.  It is more like a pie.  It isn't the crispy, chewy goodness that is brick oven.  Sure we enjoy the occasion deep dish.  Sure they are good, but it just doesn't scratch the pizza itch.

New York style, with a crust you fold in half is a close substitute to a brick oven pizza.  While again, not as good, is a close second.  It would seem that here in the land of hot dogs and deep dish, we will have to settle for NY style when we are looking to indulge in some pizza.  Perhaps some day we will build a brick oven in our backyard.

When I was younger, I loved pizzas loaded with everything imaginable on them.  Tons of veggies.  When I make pizza at home I often load them up.  But, when I go out, plain cheese is all this girl likes to eat.

Want to see what the other ladies like?  Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl.

More letting go

Letting go seems to be my theme.  I mediate on the quote about Luke Skywalker.  Of course it is now, Confucious say:  Luke Skywalker, Princess Leah, Death Star, Close Eyes, Let Go.  As I am trying to let go of the past, I have also learned that sometimes you have to try and steer the train.  Or as a much wiser friend of mine said, lay the track so the train goes the way you want it to.

I have been thinking about that a lot.  As you steer the train or lay the track, which ever image you like better, it means that you accept what has happened.  You can not try and put things in place for the future if you are focused on what just went wrong.  You must be focused on the objective.

It takes a lot of flexible thinking to be able to absorb what just went wrong and formulate a new plan on the fly.  But, when things are going wrong it changes where you are on the road to your goal.  Now the path to the goal is different.  How are you going to respond to that?  Getting stuck isn't helpful.

Don't misunderstand me here. There is a lot to be learned from our past mistakes. But, those lessons are ones best served cold. After the situation has passed, then it is the time to reflect on the lessons you have learned. It is not time to do that when you are still in the midst of the chaos.

Yesterday, I pulled begging out of my bag.  It wasn't pretty, and I am still unsure on how well it worked.  I can't fight it anymore.  The fighting isn't working.  That option needs to be retired.  I am struggling with finding ones that will work in the situation I find myself.  For now, we will see how begging goes. 

I recognize that one of the issues I have is that my goal and the school's goal aren't the same.  I am trying to push the immovable towards a goal that they are resistant to, in spite of the fact that going to my goal will make their lives easier.  Say what you want about schools, they like it the hard way.

As I wait to see how my most recent tactic works, I am trying to lay down more track so that I stop being dragged.  I am trying with all my might to build relationships that I can use to help me figure out what to do next.  But, really, now, all I can do is wait and see what happens.  The outcome is no longer in my control.

So, as I meditate on letting go and death stars, I need to keep forward the reminder that I am only one person, who is horribly flawed.  I can only do and control a small portion of this situation.  I pray with every fiber of my being that things will go well and that when they don't I know what to do next.

Play List

Our topic for this week is to discuss the top 10 songs on our play list and why..

In no particular order they would be:

Nickelback -- Lullaby

I guess it is sort of topical.  We have been dealing with a lot of hurt and sadness, and when I hear this song, I feel like they are talking to me. 

Rodney Atkins -- If You Are Going Through Hell

I want to give up sometimes and this song reminds me that giving up, well, it may not always be a good option, cuz you just might get out before the Devil even knows you are there.

Guy Forsyth -- Long, Long, Long Time

Every lyric in this song is amazing.  Right now I am stuck on the following:

"Luke Skywalker saved Princess Leah and destroyed the Death Star by letting go and closing his eyes."

Chris Isaak -- Baby Did a Bad, Bad, Thing

I am a sucker for a funky beat in the opening, and sometimes I feel like cryin'.

Santana -- Into the Night

I just like it... do I have to have a reason??

Kid Rock -- All Summer Long

This song reminds me of the Summer of 1989, my hair was long and I had a lot of the experiences he talks about.  At that moment in time, life was good.

Nickelback -- When We Stand Together

The lyrics are sort of preachy, but I agree with the message.  Also, I crossed the finish line for my first race listening to this tune.  It will always be special.

Pink -- So What

I like girl power, and this is all about girl power.  Cuz, you know what, I don't need you.

Hot Chelle Ray -- Tonight, Tonight

La la la la, what ever... it is like my life motto.

Jimmy Eat World -- In the Middle

It is about not worring about what other people think about you and just being you.  It is pretty sound advice.

As a side note, I don't know what is up with the formatting on this post, but I hope you enjoy the tunes.  Want to rock out with the other chicks?  Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl.

Mars/Venus

The post this week is about the differences between Men and Women.  The stereo-type is that men are manly and not emotional and women want to talk and talk and are emotional.  But, I would like to say that men and women fall into each camp.

I say this, and I feel like I am going through a fairly bad time in my personal life.  The irony of the situation is that the people that are helping me feel stable and ok about what is going on are men.  There are two men in my life that are nuturing and tending to my well-being.  The people I have reached out to to help me have almost exclusively been men.  These men have stepped up too.  I have been sort of a messy emotional wreck too... they didn't run for the hills.

When we start to put people into convenient buckets, we force them to perhaps ignore parts of them to meet our expectations.  I don't believe that men are less emotional than women.  I have watched my boys cry about not being invited to birthday parties.  Does it hurt a boy less than a girl to be excluded?

My girl is more likely to act out in anger than cry when someone hurts her feelings.  So like her mother that one.  As I am fairly closed off to my hurt.  I don't generally cry about things.  I tend to get mad and want to fight about it.

Are my experiences unique?  Is my situaiton different than the norm?  I don't know. I think all people are the way they are.  We try and conform to what society thinks is right, and there is some truth to gender differences but are those differences because of how we expect people to act?  When a father plays rougher with his kids does that mean he is doing what he is biologically programmed to do or societally programmed?

When I look at a man or woman, I try and see the person and not the gender.  I try and accept that person as who they are; I do not always conform to gender stereo-types, and I hope that they will do the same for me.

Want to see what the other Venuses have to say? Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl.

Letting Go

Things in my life have been pretty out of control lately.  Not out of control in a good way either.

When I was first learning to water ski, I was holding the tow rope and I fell face forward.  There was water going up my nose, and choking me.  I was being dragged on my face.  I felt the tow rope jerk and pull from my hands.  My Dad circled back around and said, "Honey, when you are being dragged, let go."

When you are being dragged, let go.  It is amazingly good advice.  I have felt like I have been dragged for sometime by a freight train that is my son's school.  The Principal is a forceful character, and he moves at a pace I just can't keep up with.  He does things in a very big way, even if a smaller way is more appropriate. 

See, I tend to clamp down on things and by freakin' g-d that is the way it is going to be.  Like a pit bull, I don't tend to ever release, even when I am being dragged.  I focus on what was wrong, what should have happened, what I could have done.  Not really helpful.

I met with a friend who knows how things go at schools.  He told me, don't focus on what has happened, focus on being pro-active.  Give the administration a tool box that they can draw from, create a scenario where the choices they make are the choices you want them to make.  It sounds a lot like what Mac's therapist says all the time.  Guess I wasn't listening.  While he didn't specifically get into the let go of what has happened point of view, I could hear my father's voice.  My Dad was big on not worrying about things that have happened, but rather focusing on what you are going to tomorrow to get where you are going.  His point was that, what has happened can't be changed.

While what happened in Friday, was truly horrible, there is nothing I can do to re-write that chapter in my life.  It is over, and that part of my story is done.  What I can do, though is think about what the end game is, and try and take actions that will help us move from the spot we are today in that direction.  I can wish that things went differently as much as I want, but I can not change it.

I have a vision in my head of my Dad's face when he looked at my 7 year old self with a bloody nose, coughing and choking on water all because I would let go.  It wasn't a good time, but it was a good lesson. 

Luke Skywalker saved Princess Leah and destroyed the Death Star by letting go and closing his eyes.  -- Guy Forsyth

No Fail Zone

Today's topic is about failure.  The question specifically is, what would you do if you knew you would not fail?  But, before we delve into the main question, I have a word or two about failure.

I have written about failure in this space before.  I shared with you my feelings about Sam's soccer team loosing all their games.  About how even when they were loosing, they were still learning.  That even the most successful people around us have failed.  Think what you want about Donald Trump, he has made millions, lost millions and made them again.  He did not curl up in a ball and say, ooh, I lost all my money I am a failure, end of the line for me.

It is the attitude of accepting that your failure is in some way indicative of you that bothers me.  Failure is an opportunity to reevaluate your path.  Perhaps the path you have chosen isn't the path to where you want to be.  There is always more than one way to get to the end goal.  That said, maybe the goal is where you really want to head to either, something to think about.

I was out for a run the other day.  It was longer than I expected and it was hard.  I was hot and I didn't feel real good.  As I rounded the corner into the home stretch, I told myself, this is hard, I can't do this.  I kept trying to come up with excuses to stop.  Then, I realized what I was doing and I changed my tune.  With every step I told myself, YOU CAN.  It is the home stretch, only 4 more easy blocks, YOU CAN.  Guess what, it got easier. 

If you do not believe that you can do something, then guess what, you can't.  I tell my kids all the time, if you have that attitude (the one of I can't), then don't even bother trying because it won't go well.  You are going to fail, so don't waste your time.

So, to the specific question, I am sort of stumped.   There are things that I would like to do, but I haven't, not so much because I feel I would fail, but because I don't want to put the time and effort in, I don't think that they are a good fit for where I am with my family, etc.  While these things smack of excuses, it isn't the failure I fear.  It is more the time commitment I would need to make to be successful.

I would love to open a yarn store.  Granted failure is a bit of a hindrance in realizing this dream.  Our family could loose a lot of money, and that isn't a risk I am willing to take.  That said, when I think about the work involved in opening one and making is successful, well, I don't think I want to do that either.  It isn't really possible for me to work 6 days a week, at night, and what not.  I just don't really want that "dream" that bad.

Perhaps I am just full of self-denial.  It is something to think about.

Want to see what the other ladies would do?  Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl.

Quality?

The question for this post is:

Hypothetically, a credible authority from the universe reveals that the meaning of life is one big talent show. Success is measured not by $$, but the extent to which your contributions to society actually increase the quality of life for others. If the reward for winning was truly exquisite, how would this revelation change your game plan?

I like to think that my game plan generally revolves around doing the right thing, even if it isn't the most lucrative thing.  Of course, since I don't actually contribute to society in a monetary fashion, it is easier for me to focus on the ethical/"right" thing.

That said, I wonder if I really do that.  It is so ingrained in us to look out for ourselves that we are often not compassionate towards others.  I say this because right now we are embroiled in a big conflict.  A kid at school is being mean to Mac.  This kid is having a lot of problems at home, I am not sure what those problems are, but the emails/facebook posts I have read would make be believe that his parents aren't always real nice to him.:

So, if my objective is to improve the quality of life for others, should I be taking a hard stand against this kid for bullying mine?  Should I be going both guns a-blazing trying to get this kid to STOP?  Or, should we be inviting him to our house and trying to offer him assistance?

I don't have it in me to house and comfort my son's bully.  But if the objective is to make things better for others, I think that I should try and find it in myself to do that.  Sure you can argue, that by getting him to stop, we would improving the quality of life for the kids he bullies.  That said, I think that you need to approach it at the base level of improving the quality of life for the bully.  My belief is that he is doing to Mac, what is done to him at home. 

Since the reality is that what this kid is doing is wrong, I fully intend to have it stop.  At the end of the day, I have to protect my own. 

In a very tardy fashion, if you want to see what the other ladies have to say, check them out at Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl.  You might have to wade through some of their newer posts to find the one on this topic, but hey, you might find something else you like!