Make it stop

Here is the deal when you have kids, they don't come with a manual.  When you buy an electric pencil sharpener it comes with a 50 page manual on how to work it.  You take a baby home from the hospital and they pat you on the back and say good luck sucker.  Ok, they probably leave the sucker part out, but it is there.

So, what do you do when the baby hasn't stopped crying in 50 hours?  I mean beside cry yourself?  You start asking for help.  I think in the old days, where there were more people around that were, say your family, it wasn't such a big deal that you didn't have a f-ing clue about what to do.  Grandma would take the baby and shoo you off to bed.  But, our modern society has separated us from Grandma.

You make it through the baby stages, you figure out how to potty train, and then adolescences sets in.  I don't know how to express this other than to say, great googly-moogly balls of fire, it is like having a baby in the house again.  In that you suddenly have this creature that you are responsible for and you have not a clue on how to manage it, and Grandma ain't willing to help you anymore.

It happens right when you are feeling sort of cocky that you got this parenting thing.  You sleep regularly, you can leave the house without enough gear to outfit a small country, going to visit a friend for an afternoon no longer requires a level of planning that would impress the US Army and it seems like you might make it out alive.  The universe HATES it when you start to feel like you might make it out alive.  So, enter a pubescent, hormonal crazy person, aka, your child.

This child will announce that you don't know how they feel, you have N E V E R been in love, and you have no idea how much it hurts that your first love rejects you.  I am always tempted to say, back up the bus there buster, I was an overweight pimply faced kid.  NO one wanted me.  I was like kryptonite to guys.  They weren't into it.  I was rejected more before breakfast than you ever will be in your life, so get a grip.

As you express this, the mutant will look at you and say, MOTHER, you just don't understand, it is different for me.  I can not get a grip, my life is ruined.  I will never love again.

I am left wondering, when did my life become an ABC after-school special?  Who took my sweet child away and left me with this crazy beast?  Seriously, I want a refund or at least a manual.

Borl

Today's topic has to do with gender.  It is based on this article:  Gender Neutral Child.  If you want to take a minute to read it, you can.  But there isn't a return link, so you will have to use the back button on your browser.

I will summarize:  Essentially this family had a baby, they decided not to tell anyone what the sex of the child was.  They gave the child a gender neutral name and dressed him/her in a gender neutral manner.  Spoiler alert, it comes out that the child is a boy.  When he goes to school the decide that they have to "out" him as a boy.

First off, this sort of behavior strays a bit to far from socially accepted norms for my taste, so it is not something I would ever consider doing.  I had to know what sex my kids were before they were even born.  We sports themed room for Mac from the beginning.  Further, using my child to make a societal statement is not something I would opt to do.

That said, as a society we place a lot of pressure on people to conform to gender roles.  So, while I am sure I would not do this to my kids, this family it attempting to allow their child to be what he is and not force him to conform to gender roles.  There is a great blog about a family with a son who likes to do girl stuff.  He wants to take ballet, wear tutus and dress like a girl.  Pink sparkles is his thing.  They have decided to accept him the way he is, and deal with the "scorn of society."  Raising my Rainbow

I remember when Sam was a baby and Mac started trying to nurse his baby dolls.  He was only mocking the behavior he had seen me do, and trust me there was a lot of focus on feeding Sam, "Mr. I lost 20% of my body weight in the first 5 days of my life."  Mac's friends were mostly girls.  Mac did a lot of things that didn't conform to gender norms.  My husband struggled with that.  He wants a boy to be a boy.  That wasn't how Mac rolled.  I think it is best to let him be what he will be. 

Hannah, my baby girl in pink, will clock you if you aren't careful.  She is as tough a cookie as they make.  She can keep up with any boy she can meet, pass them probably.  Her friends are mostly boys.  It is ok for her to cross gender expectations.  It is ok for her to play with trucks.  It is ok for her to play soccer with the boys.  Society is a lot more accepting of a girl-child that plays in the sandbox with boys.  This changes as girls get older, but I am focusing on children.

I am left wondering why is is ok for Hannah to act like a boy, but it isn't ok for Mac to act like a girl?

Want to see what the other ladies have to say?   Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Editors Note:  Mac does not act like a girl at this point in time.  The example refers to Mac when he was the age of the child in the article. 

Laundry Day

Today's topic is procrastination.  I was toying with the idea of not posting anything or posting a day late.  But, let's face it, I already did the post nothing thing with the Emperor's New Blog Post.  I don't think I can really pull that off twice.

I try really hard to live life the Nike way... Just Do It. 

I have come up with strategies to force myself to do things I don't like to do.  I have a friend that cleans the house with me.  I have a list of rewards I use when I have to have hard conversations with people.  I try and tackle life head on, and keep moving forward.

One of the few things that I do procrastinate about doing is laundry.  I wait to do laundry until it is a mountain that requires equipment to climb.  I wait until there is no clean underwear in my drawer.   I make the kids wear things that are maybe dirty-ish.  I wear things as often as I can. 

I convince myself to start doing the laundry by saying, it will be easy because there is nothing in the dryer.  Just run the machines. 

I then play the put the clean laundry in the baskets game.  Sometimes folded, sometimes not.

Finally, when we have resorted to looking for clean clothes in the baskets do I actually put it away.

I just don't know how to get myself to "Just Do It" with laundry.  Maybe someday I will.

What to see what the other gals have to say about procrastination?   Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

On Quitting

Today when I left they gym I was wrestling with the fact that I have to work out everyday for the r e s t of my life.  Since I want to live a long time, that is a lot of work outs.  It suddenly seemed overwhelming.  I didn't want to do it anymore.

I ran at my goal pace today.  I didn't run that fast for very long, but I actually moved my legs that fast for a bit.  I really didn't think I ever could.  I was scared to bump the speed up that fast.  I held on to the emergency stop cord in case I died or fell or something.   But, I did it.  It wasn't that bad.

So, why when I left I didn't want to play anymore is really strange to me.  Then I decided to check out the Naperville Running Company's facebook page.  I found a blog about a guy who started running when he was 350 lbs.  You know what, I wanted to go on a run, right then.  But, I can't because DCF has all these stupid rules about people watching the kids.

I started running because it was on my can't list.  I wanted to take it off my can't list.  I did it. 

In December, I got some not so good news about my health.  I was feeling good and went to the Dr.  I wanted to prove that you can be fit and fat... but it didn't work out that way.  I learned that one of my cholesterol numbers was out of whack.  (My sugar numbers were good, so all you folks who think I am going to get diabetes can bite yourselves.)  I have high triglycerides. 

The Dr. gave me a choice, loose weight and get your diet under control or take pills.  My sister killed herself with pills.  Pills killed my father.  I don't do pills.  (Pills do some great things for a lot of folks, but you can see why I don't want to take them.)

So, I have stopped eating carbs.  Ok, I have cut back on carbs.  But I ate a bagel the other day and it made me ill.   That is progress.   I am working out 5-6 days a week and I am seriously thinking about applying for Mom Grant to hire a trainer for a couple of sessions.   I want to run a 10K. 

But, if I really and truly don't want to do pills, I really have to get my head around the working out and the food.  I have to do it forever.  There is not finish line, this is an everyday battle.

Tuesday, I am going to lace up my shoes and try and run at the goal pace for a bit longer.  But, for a little bit today, I wanted to give up.

I am not going to go all diet blog on you, because that isn't what this is about.  It is about being healthy and not taking pills.  Periodically, I might share with you what is going on.

The voices in my head

Our topic for today is to share a funny valentine story.  I am going to share with you the voices in my head.

Oh, great, you come up with a topic and then you don't have anything to say about it.  That is great, just great.

Be quiet, I can't think with all your nagging about my topic idea.  Just be quiet.

Fine, I will but you won't come up with anything.  Oh, wait what about that time when Bob got a Valentine from one of the female managers at one of the stores he was visiting.  You said that you might laugh about that one day.

I am not there yet.  I still do not find it funny for a woman to send a valentine to another woman's husband.  I mean really.  I know that she thought it was an office address and that I would not pick it up from the mail with a four month old baby screaming like a banshee in the back of the car.  With the extra baby weight still hanging on my middle.

Seriously, your freak out was pretty funny.  I mean you were crazy pissed off.

Too soon.

Fine, it is your topic and you have to come up with something.... and you can't.

What about....

What about nothing.  You got nothing.

How about the time that my BFF and I got all dressed in black and put a single red rose in the locker of my true love?  I think we laughed about that a lot.  I mean we snuck into the locker bay with the cover of night.  We even lied to my parents about where we were going and drove over there late at night so we could put the rose in his locker so it would be the first thing he saw on Valentine's morning.  It was fun.  We still talk about that caper today.  I think the black ski masks were over kill, but it added to the ambiance of the event.  We got pie afterwards at the all night diner.

See you got... oh crap, you came up with something.

baaahhhaaawwaaa

Want to see what the other ladies have to say?  Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Emperors New Blog Post

This week's installment of the Thursday blog project is to create something on a based on a Fairy Tale. 

I will be writing a blog post about a fairy tale.  But, I hurt my back and I have hired two talented authors to write the blog post for me.  These authors have come from far away and they have promised me that this blog post will be amazing.

They have been working tirelessly on this blog post.  But, they won't let me preview it.  It is being written under tight security.  But, it is supposed to be absolutely the best blog post in the whole world.  I might have to have a parade to celebrate the awesomeness of the blog post.

Brace yourself, here is the post:





















The authors did say something about foolish people not being able to read it.  Where are those authors?  They seemed to have skipped town, with my money.

From the crowd, a child screams, there is no blog post, the blog is naked.

I would cast Mark Harmon as the Emperor.

Want to see what the other ladies do with their fairy tale assignment:  Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl

Turn back time

This week's topic for our Thursday blog post is about time travel.  Specifically, if you could go back in time and change one historical event, which one would it be? Why would you, and what changes do you think would come from it?

Of course changing the outcomes of 9/11, genocide and famine and all the horrors of the world seem like the "right" thing to do.  I certainly believe that our world would be a better place if we were more tolerant of each other.  Yet, I am going to change a different day.  I am going to change 11/21/2000.

My father had an appointment with his doctor that day.  His blood pressure was higher than his doctor would have liked.  So, this doctor prescribed a medication to take in conjunction with his current blood pressure medication.  The interaction of those two drugs and my father's body chemistry caused his blood pressure to dramatically drop.  This drop caused him to die.

I would change the decision that the doctor made.  Would my father still be alive today?  I don't know.  He did have an underlying heart condition.  But, we would have had a few more days, months or maybe even years with him.  I would love for him to have met my kids.  For them to have met him. 

My Dad used to carry peanuts around with him when he would work in the garden.  When little kids would come and visit he would make sure he had enough for them.  He would then give them jobs to do while he worked.  Kids always loved to hang with my Dad.  I wish my kids could have gotten to do that.

So, it isn't altruistic, but it would make me happy.  I don't know that one day of change could really make the world a better place anyway.  It would be nice if it worked that way, but I don't think that it does.

The picture is of me, my Dad and my brother taken at my college graduation.

 

Want to see what everyone else would change?  Check them out at: Froggie, Momarock, and Merrylandgirl