The Call

When my father died my mother wanted to wait until it was a more "humane" time of day to tell me.  I understand her perspective, that there was nothing I could do, so why not let me sleep a little bit longer before telling me.  Of course, she forgot about the time difference and I ended up finding out at work. 

It is this philosophy that motivated her most recent phone call.  It is never good when she starts a conversation with, "I have some bad news."  I know the tone of voice she uses when she is about to tell me someone has died.  She has made a number of these calls to me over my lifetime.  It is a tone she only uses to convey the passing of someone.

Yesterday, I got the call.  She asks me when I am leaving to get the boys at school, which was about an hour from then.  She then uses the tone.  I start running through my head who it could be.  It is interesting, how now, I can come up with a lot of people who it could have been, but at the time I was like ok, who?  I really had nothing.  For the most part my family is pretty healthy and with the exception of my mother, we are all pretty young.

The 8th of January was the birthday my sister, who died from alcoholism.  She passed away 15 years ago on Mothers Day.  She drank her self to death that night.  She left a son, Christopher, who at the time was 14.  On the same day his mother was born, we found out that her first son had also died.  While he did not die on the 8th, this was the day that his father chose to tell us. 

No one really knows how or why he died.  But, my guess is that he died due to complications from drugs and alcohol.  They may not have played a part at the exact time he died, it is my belief that the played a roll in deteriorating his health to the point where is body failed him.  We will know for sure once the Coroner does the autopsy.

I remember when Chris was born.  I was so excited, and looking forward to being a part of his life.  I was in 7th grade.  He was the first grandchild.  He never really had a chance.  His mother was so screwed up and his father didn't know how to handle the situation.  Sometimes life does put us in a place where we can not handle it.  He found his mother dead, at 14, after spending a childhood cleaning up her messes, he had to call 911 and his father one last time.

The last time I saw Chris, was 5 years ago.  He left town after that visit, in the middle of the night after stealing money from my mother and brother.  He never contacted us again.  My mother tried to track him down, and was never able to.  We were happy to learn that at the end of his life he had a relationship with his father and his brother and sister.  He got to know his nieces.  That he was with his family until the end.  He was still with his girlfriend, or maybe his wife, that we met when we last saw him.  She was a nice girl, I hope the rest of her life is a bit more smooth.

I am sorry that Chris's life was so marked by sadness.  I hope that he is at peace now.  He deserved a better chance.

Wisdom from the Sheep

I follow a blog about a sheep named Dizzy.  He has lots of friends, Alpaca and Fred to name a few.  The purpose of this blog is, aside from being wickedly clever, to sell yarn.  They promote one yarn a day at a price that makes you think they are well, dizzy.

They post a little story everyday.  The folks that write this are very funny.  You can tell they really enjoy doing it, because the whole story line is so well done.  Anyway, Dizzy was lamenting all the work he had to do because of a big sale over the Christmas holiday.  He wished he could clone himself.  He talks about how it would be nice to have someone who was just like him, who understood him.

This is my question.  My understanding is that you take dna from one being and create an embryo out of it, implant the embryo and birth a genetic copy of that being.  So, if someone is a genetic copy of you, does that mean that they will be just like you?  You would be separated in age by how every many years.  Is your personality more a result of your experiences or genetics?  That is the question. 

Assuming a clone was made of me right now, that child would grow up in a world vastly different than the one I grew up in.  Can we say 8-track players, cassette tapes and records?  Would they know what a VHS tape is or try beta?  Floppy disks and apple IIe computers are things that dotted the landscape when I was a kid.  We didn't have cell phones, i-pods or portable dvd players.  Our lives were different when I was a child.  A child today is going to have a vastly different set of experiences than I did.  How would that impact their basic personality?

Not that I would want another Me running around.  Seriously, one of me is enough, but I don't know that a genetic copy of me would have any better understanding of my personality and decisions than anyone else would.  I guess I think that part of what makes us us is part and parcel with our experience of life.  A genetic clone would not come from the same place I did.

So, while we might have the same dna, I don't think we would be the same.  I look at my kids, and sure they are only 1/2 me, but still, not one of them is really like me.  Sure, they might look a little like me, but they certainly are not 1/2 copies of my personality, and the certainly do not understand me.

Would a clone of a person be just like that person.  I don't think so.  What do you think?

Snow Days?

Snow Days.  The seem to be a right of living in the vast white arctic tundra.  California kids dream about having school called off unexpectedly.  It is like a gift of childhood.  Have school canceled and spend the day playing in the snow and watching tv, when you are expected to be chained to a desk at school is like chocolate ice cream for dinner.

I never had snow days, I went to school every day unless I was sick.  So, when we moved to a snowy climate I got to experience snow days for the first time.  When Mac was little I dreaded them.  A day in the house with a toddler or preschooler who needed consistent attention and activity.  There was no lounging by the fire reading a book when he was small. 

As he has gotten older, my willingness to let him play computer and video games all day has increased.  As long as they do something active and something moderately good for their brains for at least a total of 2 hours, I am ok with the electronic diversions.  It becomes a day of watching movies snuggled under the blanket, and making snow forts.  Our last year in Connecticut netted us about 10 snow days.  I loved them.  It was a mini vacation from our lives and was an opportunity to relax and enjoy each other.

Here in Illinois where we live now, it basically needs to be white out conditions or REALLY, REALLY cold out.  I am talking 20 degrees below zero cold, before they close the schools.  Today, it is snowy, there isn't any plows out and the roads are bad.  I don't want to drive on them unless I have too.  I am not a sissy either, but there is a point to which risking life, limb and personal property is NOT worth going to run errands or go to preschool. 

So, I walked the boys to school and Hannah and I are having a snow day.  The problem with this, is that while it is nice not to have to have to boys around, I still don't get that snow day feeling.  I still had to go and help in Sam's class and take care of other things.  I had to get dressed, there is no fire and I still have to do house work.  Sometimes I think we should let the kids have a snow day or two.  It is good for the soul. 

ps the kids have to go outside for recess today too!

Oh the smell of diesel in the morning

I walk the kids to school both ways.  Bob says that they are old enough and I don't need to do this.  But Sam is very scared to go by himself.  Not because he is afraid that he can't do it, but because he worries about his brother being mean to him.  This is another problem entirely, but I walk them.

It is very cold.  I seriously thought I was a little sick when I thought, hey it is 20 out, it feels kinda warm.  When we walk the kids to school, I am assaulted by the smell of the buses.  The smell of diesel fumes in the cold is different than in the warm.  The way the buses smell in the winter time reminds me of skiing.  That is the smell that surrounded the lodge.  I am sure it is because there was a billion buses bringing skiers to the slopes.

This smell brings back memories of skiing with my Dad and all the ski trips I took in college.  I warm myself with memories of my Dad and I skiing.  My Dad didn't like to loose me on the slopes, so he bought me a neon colored hat, it is hideous, but he could pick me out.  I still have the hat. 

Using that same logic, my Mom bought me some boots.  They have red trim on them, so when I am buried in snow I can be found.  It makes me laugh.  I am an adult but my Mom still worries about loosing me in the snow.  I guess you are a parent until you die.

Anyway, the buses remind me of the good times that we had skiing.  My feet are warm, downside to this is that I am more aware of how cold the rest of me is.  Looks like the year is off to a good start.

Some times half is good!

Today I am going go on and on about gas.  Not the type of gas you put in your car or the type that emanates from Sam's butt.  The kind from Sam is so stinky that really, I am not up for posting about that.  But I am going to talk about the kind that powers my furnace, my hot water heater and my dryer. 

My brother is a meter reader, so I know a thing or two about having your meter read by the gas company.  Sure he read meters in Santa Barbara, and I live here, in the arctic tundra, but seriously meter reading is the same worldwide. 

My meter has not been read in two months.  While, I generally do not care about that, there was a situation with the electric company where they didn't read my meter for about 3 months and I got hit with a bill that looked like my portion of the national debt.  I was not so keen on that happening with the gas company. 

What had me REALLY concerned is that my usage for December, according to their estimate was less than half what I used last December.  It has been about the same coldness and we have indulged ourselves and cranked the heat up a degree this year.  I have decided that my old body needs it to be at least 65 in this dang house for me to be happy.  Bob is thrilled.

Small digression, I left for the weekend when we lived in Connecticut and came home to find the thermostat at 70 degrees, up from the usual 62.  Oil cost about $2.50 a gallon, so I was a bit pissy about that.  Seriously, does my skinny, thin skinned husband think oil grows on trees?  Did we find a heating oil vein in the backyard?  I do not think so. 

Ok, so Bob is happy, the house is a little warmer.  He goes on and on about how that 1 degree really makes a difference.  I might kick it down just so he stops going on and on about it.

So, during my little chat with the gas company, I learned that they read my meter in December, just not in time to have it hit my bill, and lo and behold, it was almost exactly what they had estimated.  I was stunned at that news.  My house is warmer and my bill is half what it was last year.  The big change that drives this is that we put new windows in this house.  While the change in our heating and cooling bills will not really pay for the windows, it does off set that cost modestly.  The cost of windows, the time spent with the house open in January and all the scrimping, saving and begging that went along to pay for them was worth it.  I love my new windows.  I am not to unhappy about the gas bill either!

Random thought

• Electronic Cigarettes?  I don't understand what that is all about.  They compare them to video games, but you still get your nicotine buzz?  Apparently you only get the vapor of the nicotine some how.  I am not sure I want to smoke something that is connected to a power source.  We need to thin the herd some how I suppose.

• Flat sheep tours the world.  We can't wait for the flat sheep to come and see us.  We will read Sheep In a Jeep to him, take him places, and do fun things.  Yeah for the flat sheep.

• If I can drive a car, then why is it that I can not drive the cart in Mario Cart?  If I drove like I do on Mario Cart, we would be in a much different insurance bracket.

• I made her apologize.  She was wrong and I got her to admit it.  Yeah!!  It is always dangerous to be snotty with someone, because if you end up being wrong it sucks.  

• I wonder why the gas company can not read my meter?  I see them walking around, but for some reason, reading my meter is too hard.  Can't they scope it?  If they can't read it, then they need to move it.

• My brother called to ask me about pajamas for his almost 9 year old son... he wants to buy in size 4.  Hmm, don't think that will work.  But oh well.

Mistaken Identity

My whole life everyone has known someone that looks like me.  I have one of those faces.  When I was working in retail, people would ask me if I was related to so and so, because I looked just like someone in that family.

Being adopted, when this first started happening I thought, maybe these people are my "real" family.  As it happened more and more and more, I came to realize that the over all blandness of my features makes me look like someone else.

In the airport on the way home I was stopped by a woman in the airport.  "Are you famous," asked strange woman in airport (swa)?

Me: "Not on TV.  But my blog is read and loved by millions."

SWA:  "Are you sure, you look just like the woman on that TLC show, the one with the 12 kids."

Me:  "I am pretty sure I don't have 12 kids, just the 3 you see here."

SWA:  "Oh, well you sound just like her."

I have no idea what this woman sounds like, but I imagine she yells at the kids a lot?  Cuz I was a yellin' at the kids while we were waiting to get on the plane.

The woman in question is Betty Hayes, in Table for 12 on TLC.  Her picture is below, let me know what you think, do I look like her??

Anyway, I am used to being the face that everyone knows.  Sometimes this is good, it puts people at ease.  Sometimes it is bad, I would like to be me!  I guess yesterday I was famous.