Knitting goals for October

I know I haven't shown any pictures of my knitting lately.  It is mostly because I haven't taken the pictures, not because there isn't any knitting to show.  I have been moving along on my knitting goals, and it is time for my October goals.

Non-knitting goal:

• Take pictures of my completed projects and post them

Knitting goals:

• Finish things!!
• February Lady sweater -- only sleeves left to do!
• Mad Color Weave socks -- have 1 1/2 socks left to do!
• The final stocking for Martha -- I am doing this for a contest.  For the contest you are supposed to pick something challenging.  These stockings are not challenging anymore, but just the sheer will to finish them, that will be the challenge.

 My stretch goal will be to try and get my sister-in-law's socks on the needles.  I haven't chosen the yarn for or the pattern yet.  I also need to make a toy for a friend who is having a baby really soon, actually, I should make two, 1 for the baby and 1 for the big sister.  It is never ending!

A thousand words

Some photos...

Mac at his birthday... my big boy is double digits.

Hannah all set for soccer.  She scored a goal in her first game... most recently she scored a goal for the other team.  But at least she is scoring!

The boys after face painting at the back to school picnic.  Harry Potter and soccer... big shock!

Change

Change, everyone has something to say about change.  We change our hair, our clothes, our underwear, sometimes several times a day if you are 4.  We get change at the store.  Change is everywhere.

The world is in this cosmic period of change.  It is like we are all specs of dust on a rug and someone shook the rug out.  They are done shaking the rug, and now all of us specs of dust are settling back down.  The thing is, when we settle back down, we won't be in the same place we were when we started.

When there is massive cosmic change going on, it is an opportunity to reinvent yourself.  To be someone entirely different than you were before.  To embrace that change as an opportunity.  Be open to the potential of what could happen for you.

The reality of life is that nothing in life is constant.  We are all changing.  The only thing that is constant is change.  Change is the stable thing in our worlds.  To live with change and not be afraid of it, well that is the challenge now isn't it.

When I was fresh out of college, my father told me to feel the fear and do it anyway.  That it is ok to feel the fear, but do not let the fear make the decision for you.  You make the decision for you.  

A very dear friend of mine is in a very bad place right now.  She is faced with making a crossroads decision.  The kind that no matter what you choose, it will change your life unalterable forever.  She had made her decision, but wisely wanted to sit with it for a while, because she was worried she was making the decision out of fear.  It was incredibly wise of her to recognize fear as part of her decision process.

We can not stop change.  Change is a part of our beings.  What we can control is how much power we give to fear.  What did you do today that was fearless?

Mice are partying

For all except the last 2 years, my husband has traveled, almost weekly.  In the beginning he didn't travel as much as he did before he left the "traveling jobs."  For 8 years he traveled.  A person gets used to that.

Now, he has a good job, works from home most days and rarely leaves the state.  This is great for the kids, they get to see their Dad every night.  He is coaching soccer, going to back to school nights and helping out around the house.  So, I preface the next part of this post with, it is a good thing for everyone that he is home more.

That said, give a girl a chance to freakin' miss you already.  I was so used to only seeing him on weekends that this new and improved togetherness, is well a bit much at time. So it is with GLEE that I bid him adieu for the rest of the week.  He will be home Sunday for Religious School, but not a second before.  This is 4 glorious nights in the bed by myself.

I get to decide what to watch and when to watch it.  I can watch tv in bed.  Oh, the luxuriousness of it all.  It is a bit like a spa vacation.

I don't have to make sure that the house is moderately clean or dinner is cooked.  The kids don't care if we have cereal for dinner.  They are happy with sandwiches.  We get to eat out at our favorite place that Bob doesn't like. 

We all remember, mostly the good parts, of him being gone all the time.  So, when he leaves we bask in the joy of him being gone. 

That said, it is hard to do it all by myself, and the amount of travel that he used to do was exhausting for everyone.  I am not really wishing he traveled everyday like he used to, but we do like it when it happens occasionally.  Even just a bit more than now. 

So, while the cat's away, the mice are going to tear it up a bit.  If you are in the 'hood stop on by for the fiesta mas grande!

Abortion

While I am on the topic of adoption, it is hard not to also think about abortion.  Because the two tend to be very closely related.  Unwanted pregnancies, leave the mother with three options, 1) keep the baby, 2) adoption and 3) abortion.

Based on my earlier post, you would think that my politics would be pro-life.  That I would want everyone to choose as my mother did, and not chose abortion.  In reality, my politics and my beliefs are at a crossroads on this issue.  I believe very strongly that the government has absolutely no right to tell me or any of my sisters how they need to manage their pregnancies.  That decision should be left to the pregnant woman, her doctor, the father and G-d.  There is no reason the government needs to enter into that process.  For that reason I am strongly pro-choice.

My beliefs on the other hand are pro-life.  I believe that every child is a gift.  That unborn baby might be the one that cures cancer or negotiates world peace.  We do not know what impact that baby will have on the world and maybe we don't have a cure for cancer because that child's mother chose not to keep him/her.

I do not think that I could have an abortion.  If I got pregnant and did not want the child, I would choose adoption.  That said, there is more to it.  What if I got pregnant by rape?  Probably adoption, but who knows.  What if I had medical complications that would make it dangerous for me to continue the pregnancy?  I don't know.  I have not been confronted with that situation.  Would I be able to keep a child, not matter how wanted, if being pregnant might jeopardize my health.  To what extent would I let my health be jeopardized by a pregnancy?  I think that these are all questions that you can not answer unless you are in the situation.

I am thankful that I have not been in a position to test my over-riding belief about abortion.  I am thankful that those of us who have been forced to choose have the ability to do that.  I am glad that the women who went before me were able to give me the choice about what to do with my body.  I hope that we never loose that choice.

Adoption

I have been thinking about adoption a lot lately.  I suppose it has something to do with my birthday.  I always wonder if my mother thinks about me on my birthday.  I imagine that she always did when I was younger.  I am fairly certain my first birthday did not escape her radar. 

Now that I am so much older and she has sat with her decision to give me up for a long time, does she still remember?  I imagine when September approaches she might think about it briefly, but on the specific day does she wonder where I am and what I am doing?  I know I always wonder where she is and what she is doing.  I wonder why she doesn't register with the services that help you find each other.  I wonder if finding me at this point in her life would be so horrible.  I certainly don't need another mother and doesn't she wonder how I turned out?

How many of you are mothers or fathers?  Could you imagine giving up your child to someone  you have never met?  How long would you wonder if that child was doing okay?  Now that I have kids, I can not imagine being pregnant for 9 months and not getting the prize at the end.  That said, I was also not 16 and alone in the world.  I was in a committed relationship with someone who would help me raise that child.

When I think about teenagers, children really, who have babies and keep them, I think but why don't you give it up?  But, I think it has a lot to do with getting the prize after 9 months of being pregnant.  A 16 year old child that gives up her baby is not really a child, but someone wise enough to understand that raising a baby to adulthood is a commitment that she isn't ready to make.  It shows a level of maturity that many are not able to muster. 

I am forever in debt to my mother, she made the choice to have me and not keep me.  She didn't take the easy way out and abort the pregnancy.  She didn't choose to keep her baby.  She wanted me to have a better life, a chance at something more than she could provide me.  For that I applauded and appreciate her wisdom and bravery.  One day I wish I could tell her that myself.

Parenthood

Last night was the season opener for Parenthood.  If you haven't seen it, it is a pretty smart and funny show about parenting, families and life. 

As the show opens, it has one of the characters getting called over to his parents house to resolve some sort of crisis.  Doing this makes him late for work and he gets called into the boss' office.  Basically the boss says,  your family is getting in the way of your ability to do your job.  He puts the guy on notice. 

But does he get the message, and tell his family to lay off?  No, in the next scene his daughter is in his office complaining about her mother.  Then the sister shows up to demand that he give her credit for her idea.  It seems that the family is all consuming.  His boss keeps giving disapproving looks, but doesn't do anything.

At one point, Bob and I look at each other and I say to him, I am more worried about his job than he is.  The character, who's name escapes me, doesn't seem to get the message that his job is in jeopardy and that he needs to tell his family to back the heck off.  In today's economy, this does not ring true to me.  I can not image anybody getting called to task for not be present enough and not doing something about it.

If you boss told you to show up on time or else, well wouldn't you tell your family to back off and show up on time?  I sure would.