Thursday, October 27, 2011

Failure

It is Thursday and you know that that means, the next entry in the Thursday blog project.  Today's topic is about failure.  It was my turn to pick the topic, and I selected it because it is both topical, given Steve Job's death and it is something I have been talking about a lot lately.

I have written about failure.  I wrote about Sam's soccer team and how they lost every single game during their winter season.  The parents were up in arms about it, and there was a lot of derisive behavior because the team was loosing.  One parent even said that their kid didn't want to play anymore because the team was loosing.  I wrote a blog post about this situation, and you can look back at it if you want.  (Link, but you can't come back so finish this first and then check it out.)

I have talked about how I came to be a stay at home mom.  That decision was driven by my failures as both a mother and a career-woman.  I was unable to really do either job well when I was doing both.

Failure.  It is something we all experience.  Sometimes the fails are big, and sometimes they are small.  I didn't post the topic for this weeks entry in a timely manner because I didn't realize that it was my turn.  That was a failure on my part.  Now I have my weeks flagged in my calender so I don't do it again.

Failure helps us learn and grow.  Einstein is credited with saying the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.  The reality is that failure helps us avoid insanity.  I try and teach my kids that if you are doing something over and over again and you keep failing, it is time to take a step back and understand why you are failing.  What is causing this to happen?  If you can understand the mode of the failure, you can correct it.  Sometimes it is impossible or to complex to understand the mode of the failure, but if you fail over and over again, it is time to try something different.

I deal with this reality a lot as I try and parent Mac.  Everyday I fail to get him to do what needs to be done.  Everyday I try and come up with something new. Everyday, I think maybe today is the day that something works.  Finally, after dealing with this long enough and thinking about what I said about insanity, I decided it was time to try the one thing I didn't want to try.  I didn't like that solution.  But, for all the resistance I had to it, it is the one that has worked the best.

This is another lesson on failure that I want to share with my kids, if there is something you just don't want to do, no matter how valid your reasons, maybe it should be reconsidered when all else has failed.

We evolve through failure.  Everyone fails.  Want to read about the other failures?  Check out the other ladies at Momarock, Merrylandgirl and Froggie.

2 comments:

  1. failure can be a tough lesson for kids to grasp, but it's also the parents' attitude towards it that helps the kids handle it better. i used to feel horrible about getting bad grades even though my parents were understanding and helpful. i think it was my own problem. i would hide tests with bad grades but they'd catch me on it. then they'd get me the help i needed to do better. i think i'm still weird about admitting failure to my parents, even as an adult. they've never been mean about it or anything, so it's definitely my problem. i hope my kids don't feel that way about anything they fail on. i just tell them to keep practicing instead of giving up after the first try.

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  2. Thank you for sharing this- I feel the same way with my own parenting skills. Some days I feel as though I "wing it". I think though in the end, both my boys when they get to be adults, will appreciate me as a parent. I hope.

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