It takes a village

Driving home from Hannah's Halloween party, I expected to walk into the house and find two boys who were very angry with me.  I expected Mac to yell and scream at me. I expected him to hit me and kick me.  I expected Sam to be crying in the corner and also be be VERY angry with me.

When I arrived home, I left Hannah in the car, because I was not 100% sure the boys were in the house.  But, then I saw the wet foot prints on the garage floor.  Much to small to be Bob's.  They were home.  I got Hannah out of the car and entered the house, expecting to have everyone yell at me.

They ignored me.  Maybe they weren't aware that I was home.  I said hello to everyone.  They said hi back, and went back to what they were doing.  I sucked in a big breath of air and proceeded.

"Boys, I am sorry, I forgot that I needed to be at school at 12:15.  Once I remembered it was too late to get there."

"It is OK Mom, Mrs. E and Mrs. O helped us.  We all walked home in an umbrella parade and Dad met us at the corner.  Sam was a little scared, and kept asking where you were, but Mrs. O called and Dad answered.  It was actually kinda fun." -- Mac

"I missed you Mom, but I knew you would be coming home.  Mrs. E stayed with me.  She said I could go to her house if we couldn't find you." -- Sam

There was no yelling or screaming.  I goofed, and the other moms covered for me.  My village.  I have a village now.  My boys have other moms who will help them.  We have arrived.  I know that the other moms at the walker door are looking out for my boys too. 

While I feel really bad about what happened.  It wasn't like we didn't talk about it this morning.  It wasn't like I didn't remind about 5 other people that there was a 1/2 day today.  But, I still forgot.  Everyone helped out and everything worked out.

Mac's Teacher

I think I am in love with Mac's teacher.  Seriously.  I wasn't so sure about him in the beginning.  I thought, he might not be the best fit for Mac.  So wrong.  Completely, 100% wrong, heck I was 500% wrong.  I was the picture of wrong.  Look up wrong in the dictionary, you saw a picture of me.  I might knit something for this man.

Mac came home yesterday and told me that one of the kids told him the project he was doing was crappy.  Now, this would not usually be something I would even care about, let alone tell the teacher about.  This year, I decided, I would be super-hyper involved.  I was already teetering on strong like for this teacher, and though I would have a go at it.  Sent him an email.  Well, his response says it all.

Thanks.  I am passionate about these sort of issues.  I am sort of a
perfectionist in building a positive environment for everyone. I hate
the thought of someone being mistreated or having negative thoughts
about coming to school and wondering what someone is going to say to
them.  I take that personally when someone interferes with what I am
trying to do in that area for my students.

There is more about how he talked to the kids involved, and how they won't be doing it again.  He had me at positive environment.   I love this guy.  He brought me to tears.  No one in the last 5 years of Mac being in school has ever, ever stood up for him.  They have always blamed him and punished him.  Mac's first advocate.  Seriously, I am in love.  Watch out Mr. Teacher, I am planting a big on right on ya!  THANK YOU.

School Days

Parenting is not always hugs and kisses.  Sometimes your kid comes home from school bubbling over with excitement about the day.  Other days, you get emails, that start with Mrs. Lang, I would like to tell you about the day I had with your son.  When they call me Mrs. Lang, it is NEVER good.  For some reason, they know my last name when they have good news. 

Mac forgot to write down the spelling assignment, and as a result, did not do the homework.  The consequence for this is missing recess and going to Get It Done club.  Mac had Battle of the Books at recess, and he told this to the teacher.  Teacher, let him get out of GIDC, so he could go to BOB.  They had indoor recess.  Mac decides not to go to BOB, but goes to recess instead.  About 10 minutes into recess, Teacher realizes Mac is there, and well, I get an email about it.

Mac tells a slightly different story, where he talked to the teacher a couple of times before the teacher realizes that Mac is not where he is supposed to be.  I can sort of imagine that is correct.  Mac is very engaging and funny.  I am sure they swapped jokes, had a few laughs, and then it hit the teacher like a ton of bricks.  Wait a cotton pickin' minute, this kid is not supposed to be here, he is supposed to be at GIDC.  Oh, to be a fly on the wall at that moment.

While, I am not happy about what happened, it is kinda funny.  Stupid kid, you ditch BOB, and then go hang out in the classroom with the teacher?  Duh.  Clearly, a life of crime is probably not in my son's future.

I never like it when I have to talk to the teachers.  It is always a tough balance between being supportive and wondering what the hell they are thinking about.  Sometimes, I think they pick on Mac just to get their jollys out.  Today, I get to talk to another teacher about doing just that.  How do you tell a teacher that they are being mean, without alienating the teacher?  The teacher isn't always right.  In this case this teacher is wrong, and needs to apologize to Mac, but I really doubt that will happen.  But how do I explain the situation so that they don't get pissed at me?  I pray for patience and that God will give me the right words when I sit down with her.  I hope that I find the grace to help her be a part of the team of people helping my son, not part of the team of people bringing him down.  I was sort of hoping that the adults would be on board, even if the kids weren't.

Well, for now, we wait and see.  Wish me luck.

Silence

Silence is golden, so it is said.  When all three kids are screaming at me, at each other and generally making a fuss, I dream about silence.  I actually leave the house and spend weekends away from them, basking in the cool glow of silence.  Until recently, I would have rhapsodized about silence.  It's milky whiteness, the way it softly and warmly embraces you and steals away all the anxiety.

Certainly there are some folks that equate silence with loneliness.  Being alone with their thoughts is too horrible for many to contemplate.  They leave the tv or radio on, so that there is noise and company.  I am not one of them.  I can understand where they live, as until I had children, I lived there too.  Now, I am firmly not in that camp anymore.

Last year, I asked to use the bathroom, while pooping, by myself.  I wanted to poop in peace, for a whole week.  I really didn't think that this was an outlandish period of time, and it was all I wanted for my birthday.  The kids could not deliver on this wish. 

As of Wednesday, I have had both boys in school for 6 hours a day.  My house is so quiet, it is eerie.  It is like no one is home.  To go from the racous, ear blasting noise of the summer to total silence is almost deafening.  I am not alone.  Hannah is here with me.  She still has her various needs and wants that have to be tended to, but for the most part she plays happily by herself in the play room.

I have the entire expanse of the day to do what I want to do, for the most part.  It is like a taste of when they will all be in school all day long.  What will I do with myself?  Hannah is a willing participant in most activities,  if I want to go out to lunch with the ladies, shopping, out for coffee, Hannah is game.  She is very well behaved and will sit and color or look at her ponies for a long enough period of time that I really can take her anywhere.  It will be an interesting year, as I decide what to do with my new found freedom.