Probably the hardest part about moving has been developing the new relationships. You land in this strange place and know nobody. We moved here without knowing a soul. I have had to meet people, settle my family, and deal with all of the Bob stuff. For a while, I didn't even want to reach out to people because I was such a mess, I was terrified I would put off folks because I was so needy. That said, it was hard to isolate myself, and that would have made it worse. I have filtered through a number of relationships, looking for the ones that stick. Slowly, I am feeling less alone in this place.
But, all these relationships are still new, so some times just when you think some one is your friend, bam something happens and they shut you out. They stop talking to you, they stop telling what is going on in their lives. I have learned to be worried when someone befriends me to quickly or intensely, usually they are the ones that shut you out the fastest.
We have been through a lot this year, and I don't have the time or energy to invest in being sad about it. Perhaps, I have been through so much rejection this year, it is just another notch in the day planner. Either way, it is disappointing. I do not have any idea what I did, but I feel like I have been kicked to the curb. Oh well, tomorrow is another day, and who knows what it will hold.
This is the part about moving that I don't like. The biggest reason I don't want to move again. I don't want to have to start over again. Can I? Yes, but it is very trying to have to develop all thoose relationships all over. I try and remind myself that this isn't about being alone, but about possibilities. You never know how things will turn out, perhaps today is the day.
As my Dad always said: "Today is the day, make it a good one."
Showing posts with label anniversary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anniversary. Show all posts
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Entering #14
13 years ago today, I was married. We got married by a pond at the Gainey estate. It was a gorgeous day, but it was quite a journey getting there.
My mother insisted that it would be too hot for us to get married outside in August in the Santa Ynez valley and she booked us a different location. She then called and told me. I told her NO. We ended up having to move the location anyway, because the winery we were supposed to get married at double booked us, so we got married at the owners private estate, which was way better!
My mother-in-law was beside herself that we were getting married outside in August, without a rain plan. In her defense, she is from Ohio where it rains in August. We insisted that it would not rain on our wedding day. I pulled the weather history for the entire recorded history, and it had only rained 1 time on the 17th. I kept telling her the biggest concern is that it will be too hot. My brother had been sending me the weather everyday, and it was over 100 almost daily. It did not rain that day, and it was not too hot.
My father was very concerned about what he would wear. He didn't want to spend the money to "rent" a tux. He said it seemed like a waste to spend $100 on something he wouldn't use again. So when he read about a tuxedo shop going out of business, he swung by and bought a shiny silver tux. It was horrible. But, less than the cost of renting one. I was out for a visit and noticed a hole in the pants. To bad, so sad, can't wear it. Problem solved. He found another tux, bought more pants, and wore it. No one had the heart to tell me, so I found out when he didn't show up for the final tux fitting. He was happy, and some of my fondest memories are of my dad in his crazy tux.
There are so many other stories from that day, it was so much fun. The best part was that I got to marry my best friend. After 13 years, we are still in love. We have been through some very scary times, actually are still in some very scary times, but one consistent in our lives is that the other one will be there. My husband is the butter to my bread, the breath to my life. I love him.
My mother insisted that it would be too hot for us to get married outside in August in the Santa Ynez valley and she booked us a different location. She then called and told me. I told her NO. We ended up having to move the location anyway, because the winery we were supposed to get married at double booked us, so we got married at the owners private estate, which was way better!
My mother-in-law was beside herself that we were getting married outside in August, without a rain plan. In her defense, she is from Ohio where it rains in August. We insisted that it would not rain on our wedding day. I pulled the weather history for the entire recorded history, and it had only rained 1 time on the 17th. I kept telling her the biggest concern is that it will be too hot. My brother had been sending me the weather everyday, and it was over 100 almost daily. It did not rain that day, and it was not too hot.
My father was very concerned about what he would wear. He didn't want to spend the money to "rent" a tux. He said it seemed like a waste to spend $100 on something he wouldn't use again. So when he read about a tuxedo shop going out of business, he swung by and bought a shiny silver tux. It was horrible. But, less than the cost of renting one. I was out for a visit and noticed a hole in the pants. To bad, so sad, can't wear it. Problem solved. He found another tux, bought more pants, and wore it. No one had the heart to tell me, so I found out when he didn't show up for the final tux fitting. He was happy, and some of my fondest memories are of my dad in his crazy tux.
There are so many other stories from that day, it was so much fun. The best part was that I got to marry my best friend. After 13 years, we are still in love. We have been through some very scary times, actually are still in some very scary times, but one consistent in our lives is that the other one will be there. My husband is the butter to my bread, the breath to my life. I love him.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)