It is a bumpy ride

I keep trying to come up with stuff to write about, but unfortunately a big portion of what is going on in my life is not for blog consumption.  I got to thinking about this summer and the past couple of months when my posts seemed to write themselves, ideas were backed up for weeks on end.  Filling this page was not so hard to do.

What was happening then, that well, isn't happening now?  The answer my friend, was that I was in crisis.  I was trying to sort out what was happening to me, to my family.  Things have dramatically settled down.  Almost with a thump.  We have gone from bouncing around, contemplating life, trying to understand it's meaning, being on the roller coaster of emotions, to basically living well.

 When things are calm, there isn't much to say.  Who wants to read, got up, had a pretty good day all things considered, went to bed.  It is not that inspiring.  It certainly isn't interesting! 

The drama that is happening around me, like I said in the beginning is not something I can talk about right now.  That said, it is interesting to look at this person who is an important being in my life going through the roller coaster of emotions, but have it NOT be me.  I am sort of detached.  I listen, and then assign homework so that this person can take steps towards getting things done and ultimately achieving the objective.

I try really hard to impress upon my friend that this too shall pass, and things will settle down.  Perhaps even with a thump.  It might be a long and bumpy road, but it will be alright. 

The take away from today, is that no matter what is going on, it will be alright at some point, and there is always someone else worse off than you.

Randomness on Thursday

*  Drama Llama's, Vampire Sheep, Nameless Alpaca, oh my!

*  Doctors, Orthodontists, Principals, oh my!

*  G-d is great, beer is good, people are crazy

*  It is the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine

*  Thanksgiving in March

*  I need a vacation

*  Oh, great firey orb in the sky, warm my soul

*  It shipped already?  No backing out now...

*  Mom, I need, I need, I need

*  I am waiting, I want it now, now, now, now, now, now, now

*  I have talked to you more in the past 3 weeks than the past 5 years....

*  You're in charge of my mother

*  AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH

*  Great, now the garage door is broken

*  Zilboorg, hmm, might have to look into this more

*  Got my hall pass, can not wait to use it

*  Knitting makes everything better

Need a helping hand?

My family likes to say we put the fun in dysfunctional.  Growing up, we were the Brady Bunch, before, well that was normal.  Most kids I went to school with didn't have half brothers and sisters.  But, I did.

My mom had two kids, a girl and a boy.  My dad had two kids, a girl and a boy.  My mom's kids were 1 year younger than my dad's kids.  So, when you merged them, they were all 1 year apart.  They got married, blending this bunch of kids.  Then, my mother got cancer and had to have her reproductive parts removed.  They couldn't have anymore kids.  So they adopted two more, a girl and a boy.  They had four kids, 11, 12, 13 and 14 years old when they adopted me.

I grew up in this wild and crazy family.  We didn't all get along.  When I was small, really they didn't like me and my younger brother.  The older kids were mean to us.  My younger brother and I fought like I can not imagine.  I have no memory of my younger brother that does not involve us fighting with each other.  My poor mother.  I think that some of my siblings resented us for "replacing" them.  I am not sure, but I am confident that the hostility we felt as children was caused by something we as babies had no control over.

Now that we are older, we don't talk that much.  This is not because we are not friends, but because that is just the way that it is.  I know that if I ever really needed something, my brothers would help me.  I think that they know I would help them. 

This brings me to my kids.  I wonder if when they are adults they will have each others backs.  I have tried very hard to instill the idea that we are to look out for each other in them.  But, when the rubber meets the road, I will have nothing to say about it.  My parents could not stop my brother and sister from resenting me. 

All I can say is that I hope that I hope that my kids help each other out.

Why so quiet?

I realize I have been kinda silent lately.  There are some things going on around my life that are consuming a lot of my time.  I try very hard to tell only my story.  If I tell another's story, I try and make sure that they know that I am going to do that.

The story that is happening around me, does not involve me really.  Other than I am part of the support team for the person it does impact.  I spend a lot of time on the phone talking to that person.  It is ok, because I know if the shoes were on the other feet, this person would do the same for me.  Would I choose them?  I don't know.  But, I know that they would help me if they could.

I can not tell you the story, it isn't mine to tell.  Someday, when it is all over, a finished chapter in this person's life, perhaps then, it will be a story to be told.  Maybe by me, maybe by them.  Some of you have listened to me talk about this, only because I have to manage my own sanity.  But, it isn't appropriate for this blog.

So, if I am silent, it is because well, someone else needs my time more right now.  If I peak ahead at what I think the outcome will be, I think it will be good.  For right now, it is uncertain, scary, untenable, and just plain hard.  I ask you to pray for my unnamed friend.  Pray that this person is able to accomplish their goals with the least amount of collateral damage.  That they have the wisdom to make good choices.

Hit and run

I almost died yesterday.  Hannah almost died yesterday.

I realize that I talk about "killing" the kids all the time.  I joke about dying from the horror of some event, oh so dramatic.  I know that I posted a chalk outline of my body after I was "killed" in sock wars.  Yesterday, Hannah and I almost actually died.  There is a chance that we might not have been killed, just maimed. 

You know, your life does not flash before your eyes before you die, or almost die.  The intensity of the situation increases, things become clearer and you fight to survive.  In my situation, I grabbed my baby and hot footed it out of there.  I have no memory of doing that, but my friend who saw the whole thing told me I did. 

What I remember is seeing a car stopped at a corner.  No one coming in the on coming traffic, so Hannah and I stepped into the crosswalk.  The car stopped at the corner, turned left into us, gunning her engine, turning her vehicle in such a manner as to direct it towards us, and almost hit us.  I screamed and grabbed Hannah and booked it across the street.

Once safely, praise G-d, on the other side of the street, I looked at her.  Smoking her cigarette, with her processed brown hair, and her smokers' skin.  She flicked her hand at me annoyed that I was in her way.  She then proceeded to turn into the school parking lot.  Hannah and I, along with my back-up of 3 other moms and their kids, went and got her tag number.  Today, we will file a report with the police.

I hope they go to her house and scare the shit out of her, because she sure scared us.  Would it have been so hard to have stopped her car and apologized?  I nearly hit a woman when I was backing up in a parking lot.  Her husband alerted me to this fact.  I stopped the car, turned it off, leaped out of the car and the woman, old enough to have kids about my age, gave me hug, told me that it was ok.  I felt horrible, she apologized to me, and I almost hit her with my van.  I will always remember the grace with which she handled the situation.  I would like to think, had the driver of this car showed even a bit of concern, I would have shown such grace to her.

I will never forget the woman I almost hit, and I hope she is well.  I will never forget the woman who almost hit me.

Wishing for a camera

A picture is worth a thousand words.  But, alas, I find myself without my camera, so I will describe to you the funny things I saw today that I thought, dang it, I wish I had my camera.

First off is the pepto-bismol pink hummer that someone drives to the gym.  I really, really, really, want to see the owner, but sadly, I have not.  It looks something like this. 

That makes me giggle when ever I see it.  Seriously, who buys gas for this thing?  Who buys a car like this?  It is so pre-recession.  I love to imagine what the owner looks like.

Then, of course there is the party girls limo.  I saw it parked at the Burger King.  Because that is where girls go to party, in their pink limo, let me tell you.  Burger King is it.  But sadly, no camera, it looks something like this:

Then of course there was the purple low-rider that I followed into the gym today.  It was a big day let me tell you.  I can not find an image that is similar to this, but it was awesome.  Bright purple F-150 pickup.  The kind that usually rides tall, lowered.  Takes you right back to cruisin' on State.

Once I arrived at the gym, after being completely amused by the cars, I went into the men's locker room, turned women's locker room.  There is a waste basket over-flowing with tampon boxes and wrappers under the urinals.  That killed me, I think I may be the only one who got the joke.  Oh, and the urinals were wrapped in pink plastic bags.

Wish I had my camera today.

No, actually you shouldn't write a chapter in a parenting book

I read a blog post from a person who espoused his greatness because his kids didn't use a pacifier after the age of 1.  If you want to read the post it can be found here....  Parenting manuals need my chapter.  He had a lot of not so nice things to say about parents who let their kids use pacifiers after the age of 1.  He basically asked, who is the parent here.  I don't really agree that a kid with a pacifier after the age of 1 has a bad parent, or at least not one that is any worse than any of the rest of us.  We all know, that just the mere mention of who is the parent sends me over the edge.

Did my kids have pacifiers after the age of 1?  No, they didn't.  Mac was the only kid who took one and his day care provider broke him of the habit when he was very small, like 3 months.  He sucked his thumb instead.  But that stopped on its own eventually.  The other 2, did not like the artificial substitute for the booby.  I stopped nursing both firmly when they were 1.  I wanted to regain ownership of my body. 

All kids have different temperaments, all parents have different temperaments.  Sometimes the parent and the kid gel, sometimes they don't.  To judge another parent because their kid has a pacifier is not really fair, unless of course you have never made a questionable parenting choice.  Think about it, have you ever made a questionable parenting choice?  I make them all the time, I share them with you, usually with some sort of justification.  Can we say no coats in winter?

Should this blogger have judged this parent so harshly?  It sure makes for a good blog post, but it is also a bit unfair.  I am confident he is not a perfect parent.  There are days when I wish that we all settled down and stopped judging each other without all the facts and just supported each other.  Heck, let's just accept that parenting is a hard job and that most of us are trying to do the very best that we can. 

I am confident that the mother of the kid with the pacifier is trying to do the best that she can.  Just as the over protective parents look at my parenting style and wonder what I am up to, it is easy to look at them at wish they would stop hovering. 

At the end of the day, in spite of us, most of our kids grow up and are productive members of society.  So let's all just get along ok?  Bet that makes me a hippy.